It Really IS Better To Have Loved And Lost

It Really IS Better To Have Loved And Lost ©Flickr/Lauren Rushing

One of those things someone always feels the need to say to you after a break up is, “Well, it’s better to have loved and lost.” When you’re nursing a broken heart, you might think you’d much rather avoid these feelings altogether – but that would mean you never would have had the good times. You’d never know what it was like to fall in love, or to dream about spending your life with someone. Of course, there’s a lot more to life than being in a relationship, but having someone to share all your experiences with has a way of making everything even more satisfying. As much as it hurts when it ends, experiencing love really is worth the pain – here’s why.

  1. You learned something about yourself. Contrary to what some people like to believe, relationships are hard work. Everyone has different needs, and learning how and when to compromise takes practice that requires a little hands on experience.
  2. You know what your deal breakers are. With a failed relationship inevitably comes a regret or two. Maybe you realize now that you were too stubborn, or maybe you let him walk all over you, and now you know, next time you won’t make the same mistake.
  3. You know you’re capable of love. Falling in love is a milestone most people experience at some point. If you’ve loved once, you can do it again, and that gives you hope for the future.
  4. Experiences are never a bad thing. Life is all about learning from your experiences. Your relationships with other people can teach you a lot about yourself, who you are, and what you’re capable of. So every experience, good or bad, is worthwhile.
  5. You know what you’re looking for next time. Dating is basically just trial and error. You may think you have a type, but how do you really know until you try dating different kinds of people? If your relationship with a hippie free spirit type crashes and burns, then you know maybe you need someone a little more stable.
  6. You’re stronger because you got through losing them. You know the saying, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”? That definitely applies to the dating world. Break ups are hard, but with a little time, you’ll get through it— you always do.
  7. You still have the good memories. Chances are there were quite a few good things about your relationship. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean you have to write off the entire thing as a waste of time.
  8. You can participate in all those ex analysis sessions with your friends. Everyone has an ex or two they could analyze for days. Add a couple glasses of wine to the mix, and you and your friends are could start your own podcast on “why love sucks”.
  9. You can relate to other people who are going through a break up. Your break up will make you so much more sympathetic towards people who are going through the same thing you did. And it can never be a bad thing to be capable of relating to other people.
  10. You’ll appreciate your single days so much more. Now that you know what its like to be in love, you can appreciate the good in not being in love. If you know the pros and cons of being single vs being in a relationship, you’ll be able to make an informed decision about what you want your future to look like.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.