“It’s Complicated” Isn’t An Acceptable Relationship Status To Me—Either We’re Together Or We’re Not

Am I single or am I in a relationship? Those should be the only two options. I don’t live in the gray area, I don’t accept the in-between, and my relationship will never be “it’s complicated.” Here’s why:

  1. If I’m single, I should be able to mingle. I don’t ever want to be in a position where I’m not sure if I’m allowed to see other people or even hook up with other people. It can’t be cheating if we’re not technically together. I don’t want to live in a gray area. I want to know exactly what we are to each other so I know 100% if I’m free to be with someone else. I don’t want to ever have some complication holding me back from finding love.
  2. Either a man wants to be with me or he doesn’t. He shouldn’t have to draw up a pros and cons list to figure out if I’m good enough for him. Does he like me or not, or does he simply not like me enough? Either way, he can’t string me along in the “it’s complicated” territory. When it comes to my dating life, a guy doesn’t get to tow the line. He either makes a decision or I’ll make it for him and say goodbye.
  3. I’m either single or in a relationship. I don’t live in the in-between. It’s one or the other, never both. I’m not going to play into that kind of BS. Either we’re together or we’re nothing. I don’t want to have my heart attached to a man that doesn’t really want to be with me. If we’re not a couple, then I’m single and free to do as I please.
  4. If things are casual then we’re not exclusive. If a guy isn’t ready to officially be my boyfriend, why on earth should I be loyal to him? I don’t know what he’s doing when we’re not together. If we haven’t had “The Talk” and he hasn’t officially asked me to be his girlfriend then we’re not in a relationship. We’re just hanging out, and that means there’s nothing complicated about me hanging out with other guys too.
  5. I don’t get back together with my exes. If someone breaks up with me then that ship has officially sailed. They had their shot and they blew it. There’s nothing complicated about a breakup. It doesn’t mean we can’t be together for right now, with me it means we’re done, it’s over. Either we stick together through thick and thin or we part ways but once a breakup has occurred, I’m letting go and moving on.
  6. I won’t put up with guys who refuse to define the relationship. It seems like in modern dating everyone is against labels, but I’m the exception. I feel like if someone doesn’t want to define the relationship, it’s because they don’t want to have a real one. I won’t put up with guys who are just stringing me along. Love and relationships shouldn’t have to be that complicated.
  7. I don’t do commitment issues. I don’t have commitment issues and I don’t waste my time on men who do. In my mind, people who can’t commit either aren’t mature enough for a relationship or just don’t like the person enough. I’m not going to wait around hoping a guy will someday want to be with me. If he doesn’t want a relationship with me, I’ll find a man who does.
  8. Life is complicated enough already. I know that relationships aren’t exactly easy, but they also don’t have to be that hard. I want a partner who helps to relieve my stress, not someone who causes more of it. I know that everything in life takes work but I’m only willing to work for someone who’s willing to work for me. Everything else in life might be complicated, but knowing my exact relationship status should be easy.
  9. If a guy can’t give me what I want (or need) then I’ll keep my options open. I’m not going to scare off the potential man of my dreams all because he thinks I’m in some complicated almost-relationship with some guy who doesn’t like me enough to be with me. I’m an amazing woman and I want to be with a man who sees that. He should want me and only me because he loves me enough to not need other options.
  10. I deserve better than a relationship that can be summed up as “complicated.” I don’t want drama, I want love. His feelings for me should be clear, not complicated. I want a man who actually wants to be with me and isn’t afraid to consider us “in a relationship.” If he can’t handle that then I want to be completely single and free to do whatever I please.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.