It’s Not Shallow — Attraction Really Is Important In A Relationship

Anyone who’s ever rejected someone has, at some point, been accused of being shallow. But if you turn down someone you’re not attracted to, aren’t you just saving each other some time by passing on a doomed relationship? After all, attraction is important for many reasons.

  1. Attraction leads to passion. The I’m going to jump your bones the second I see you kind of passion is what you want.. It’s magnetic, fierce, and fiery, to the point where you crave one another. A love without passion isn’t much more than a really good friendship, and you deserve a relationship that includes desire.
  2. Great sex will take your relationship to a whole other level.You’re not going to have mind-blowing sex with someone you aren’t attracted to. Great sex between two people who care about each other is an incredible experience that will strengthen your bond and increase your relationship satisfaction level. Couples who have great sex have a better shot at making it long-term, because it actually does make two people closer.
  3. Attraction helps hold things together in the rough times.Long term relationships include times that are hard and times that are just kind of boring. When you kind of want to kill your partner or just order an Uber to the airport and never return, it helps to be able to look at them and actually like what you see.
  4. It helps you to resist outside temptation.Sometimes people get tempted to cheat, and most people are at some point presented with the option. Being faithful long-term is significantly easier when you’re attracted to the person you’re with, because you didn’t sacrifice lust for love — you already have them both.
  5. People enjoy feeling wanted.When you’re wanted you feel sexy and secure. You’ll love the way your partner looks at you and how they touch you. You’ll always feel beautiful, even when you’re sick and gross, and it’s comforting to know that you’re wanted.
  6. Kissing someone you’re attracted to is an amazing experience.Hello, fireworks! A kiss between two people who are attracted to each other can be even better than sex, and you’re never going to enjoy a heavy make out session with someone you don’t find attractive. Kisses should make you happy, not make you want to fake a headache.
  7. A relationship has to start somewhere.Attraction is often the jumping off point that leads to the getting to know you phase. It causes that first spark and your initial curiosity, and motivates someone to make that first, terrifying move.
  8. Attraction isn’t always based on looks.Your partner doesn’t have to be stereotypically good looking in order for you to be attracted to him or her. You can be attracted to their sense of humor, their passion, their ambition, or their general energy. There are endless qualities that make a person attractive to the opposite sex, so you’re not necessarily being shallow. Your desire for another person is based off of traits much more significant than what you see on the surface.
  9. You deserve to feel the power of attraction. When two people are attracted to each other, they can look at each other and the rest of the world just melts away. You are drawn to each other in a way that feels almost out of your control, and it’s remarkable. You deserve to have that in your relationship, even when other’s tell you you’re just being shallow.
  10. When love is real, the attraction will last a lifetime.When you see elderly people who are in love, they look at each other like no one else can compare. They’re the most beautiful people in the world to each other- even when all you see is saggy, wrinkly faces. The attraction goes so much farther than skin deep, and isn’t that how you want your partner to look at you in 40 years?
Holly Harris is a freelance writer, full time student, and mommy to a toddler sass monster. In her (nearly nonexistent) free time, you can find her lifting something heavy in her home gym or chugging vodka sodas with friends. She contributes to several other sites, including Elite Daily.