It’s Time For Women To Start Raising Our Standards, Because We Deserve More From Love

While we shouldn’t have impossibly high standards that will only lead to disappointment — we’re never going to end up with Benedict Cumberbatch, after all — that doesn’t mean our standards should be low, either. As women, we tend to sell ourselves short rather than demanding what we deserve in life and in love in particular, and it’s time for that to change.

  1. You’re more than just a sex object. It seems like this is the decade of one-night stands and friends with benefits, but it doesn’t have to be. If you want a relationship, don’t settle for casual sex. You deserve a guy who actually gives a crap about you.
  2. You’re not greedy for wanting something great. You don’t have to go on a date with every guy who asks you for one. If he isn’t your type, then turn him down. It doesn’t make you a bitch. It just means you have standards.
  3. You’re your own worst enemy. The things you tell yourself aren’t true. You’re not fat, you’re not ugly, and you’re not silly. You don’t deserve the lowest of the low. You should be with someone amazing, because you’re amazing.
  4. You deserve to be treated with respect. Don’t date someone who cheats on you. Don’t date someone who physically or verbally abuses you. Don’t date someone who acts like they’re doing you a favor by dating you, because you’re worth more than all that.
  5. Men have high standards. Men always go for women out of their league, so why shouldn’t we? If you want to date a guy, then ask him out, even if you think he’s going to turn you down. The worst that can happen is that he tells you he’s already taken.
  6. Being shallow isn’t so bad. You’re supposed to find your boyfriend attractive, so don’t feel bad for turning down a guy who just isn’t your type. If you don’t want to rip his clothes off each time you see him, then he isn’t for you.
  7. It’s okay to be single. Some girls will date a random guy, just so she can say she’s in a relationship. However, there’s nothing wrong with being single. It doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. It just means you haven’t met the right person yet.
  8. “Not all men” are the same. It sounds corny, but it’s the truth. There are some good guys out there, but you have to try to weed out the bad ones in order to get to them. Once you do, you’ll be happier than ever that you kept your standards high.
  9. Chivalry isn’t dead. It’s rare to see a man pull out your chair, walk you to your front door, and offer to share their dessert. But just because we don’t see it often doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. There are still chivalrous men out there. You just have to find them.
  10. You deserve the best. Most of us don’t value ourselves. So whatever you think you deserve, you deserve better.
Holly Riordan is a writer from Long Island, New York who has authored several science fiction and horror books. A graduate of Stony Brook University, she has spent nearly a decade writing for publications including Thought Catalog, Huffington Post, Teen Vogue, and more. You can find her on Instagram @hollyrio and Twitter @hollyyrio.