It’s Time To Start Treating Dating Like A Job Interview — Here’s How

If you find yourself getting nervous before a date or feeling jaded about how all your dates seem to hit the same unsatisfying conclusion, it can help you to approach dating as you would as a job seeker trying to get hired at their dream company as well as like a boss looking to bring a new employee on board. While you might think that’s just going to make you spiral into anxiety, it can actually help to relieve it. Here are 12 ways to treat dating like a job interview the next time you meet up with a cutie from a dating app.

  1. Focus on why you’re a catch. When you walk into a job interview, you put your confidence on display and show your prospective employers why you’d be great at the job. In similar terms, when you go on a date, you should bring your best attitude and traits to it. Talk about things that subtly show what you’re good at and what makes you special, instead of giving generic answers to questions. Leave your baggage at the door.
  2. Pick at his relationship goals. Don’t waste your time trying to become his girlfriend if you don’t know about his relationship goals. What does he want? What is he looking for? Do you want the same things? If you don’t know where he’s at, you’re wasting your time. Would you go to a job interview without first sussing out if the company’s a good fit for you? Hell no. So, why should you be vague and wishy-washy about a date?
  3. Think about if you’re going to be happy. When you’re considering taking a new job, you’ll naturally think about if it’s going to make you happy. If you can already see that there are going to be issues, such as that you’re going to have to move to another state or you’re not going to be doing what you love, this will naturally cause you to hesitate or even turn the job down. Bring that same logic to your dates. Think about any red flags you can see and what dealbreakers you have so that you don’t compromise yourself.
  4. Don’t lie to impress anyone. Have you ever been tempted to fudge the truth on your résumé to increase your chances of getting the job? It’s never a good idea. Similarly, lying to the guy you’re on a date with about your relationship history or anything else will just give him a false impression of you. Instead of making a good impression, make an authentic one.
  5. Ask important questions. When you go to a job interview, it’s advised that you ask some questions instead of just waiting for your interviewers to ask you stuff. This helps you find out if you’re a good match for the job. Similarly, it’s always good to ask your date some important questions, like what they want out of life. Make sure your questions are open-ended so you get more information instead of one-word answers.
  6. Google him before your date. While it might seem weird to do an internet search on the guy you’ve matched with on a dating app before a first date with him, just think: if you were going to a job interview, you’d Google the company to learn more about it and so that you can ask your interviewer valuable questions about the job. Similarly, you should Google your date to see if you can find any important info you’d want to know about him before driving across town and wasting your time, like if he has a girlfriend. Learning a bit more about him can also help you to break the ice with interesting questions.
  1. Check their reputation. Imagine that you’re interviewing someone for a position at your company. You’ll want to check their reputation to ensure that they’re not going to be negative for your company, which you could do by phoning up some references. So, do a similar thing on/before a first date. Find out more about what their previous relationships were like if you can so that you can see what they’ve left behind. If others you know also know this guy, check in with them to see what they really think of him.
  2. Check that you’re in sync. When you attend a job interview, you might not think about chemistry with the person who’s interviewing you, but it certainly helps to see that you’re both on the same page and get along. You can’t forge a connection by using too much humor, since you have to keep things professional, so you have to be in tune with your intuition to suss out the natural energy that’s occurred. While you can inject humor into your dates, you should also take time to focus on how you feel. What’s your gut telling you? Listen to this voice.
  3. Ace your introduction. Those first few seconds when you meet your date are super-important as they will set the scene for the rest of the date. Make a good impression by ensuring you have positive body language, so smile, make eye contact, and strut your stuff in a confident way. You should also pay attention to how the guy behaves in those first few moments, as this will give you insight into him and what he really thinks of you.
  4. Get dressed to impress. You want to clean up well for a job interview in the same way that you want to look good when attending a first date. This isn’t about showing cleavage or wearing a tiny dress (unless you want to), but rather about dressing in a way that makes you feel comfortable and confident so that you can be your best self. Making a bit of an effort with your appearance also shows the person that you’re taking the date seriously. Wear something that you’ve worn before so you’re guaranteed of feeling good in it.
  5. Don’t stay too long. Job interviews don’t usually last for very long, which is good. You make a good impression, you show what you’ve got to offer the company if you’re hired, and you don’t overstay your welcome. Follow this rule when going on a date with someone new. While staying for five hours might feel like fun, especially if you’re connecting, it can cause things to become boring. Keep things on a high by ending the date when you still have lots to say to each other.
  6. Actively listen. You’ll want to listen actively during a job interview, which is why it’s recommended to rephrase the question posed to you when answering it. This shows your prospective employer that you’re paying attention and listening to them, and it’s a good idea to do this on dates too.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.