It’s Totally Fine to Have Sex on the First Date – Here’s Why

For some reason, there are “rules” about when it’s okay to finally sleep with someone. These rules are archaic, sexist, and totally irrelevant. Anyone who adheres to them really needs to sit down and evaluate who they’re letting dictate their sex life because there certainly isn’t any body autonomy going on there. Instead of letting others decide what’s right for you, take control of your sexual desires and, if you want, have sex on the first date, because it’s not just fine ― it’s awesome.

  1. Waiting until the third date is ridiculous. Whoever came up with that “rule” is a major killjoy and probably some sort of control freak. Ignore that rule. Completely.
  2. It can help you decide if you want a second date. Sometimes you want to know just how much chemistry you do (or don’t) have with someone, and sleeping with that person is a great way to figure that out. If there’s nothing there between the sheets, then there’s no point on signing up for date #2.
  3. It eliminates any sexual tension. The only way to put an end to sexual tension is to work it out with a proper romp.
  4. You want to test out the waters. Sex is different with different people, and wanting to know just how different it will be from the last person you were with is reason enough to have sex.
  5. You shaved your legs. Maybe you didn’t have the intention of going to bed with them on the first date, but since you shaved your legs and you’re feeling good about the idea, your hairless legs practically demand it.
  6. You’re wearing your sexy undies. So, it’s the first time this week that you haven’t worn granny panties? Yeah… you better show off all that lace and frill.
  7. You don’t want to waste your time. You have too many men and so little time. Don’t waste a second.
  8. You want to make sure you’re on the same page sexually. If you’re into BDSM and he thinks missionary is all the rage, it’s better to know sooner than later.
  9. The whole ‘he’ll think less of you’ is a scam. It’s 2015; the majority of men aren’t going to judge you for banging on the first date, but if they do? You don’t want to date them anyway.
  10. You’re not a cow. You know the whole saying, “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” Well, you’re not a cow, and if you were, it’s your business if you want to give out your milk either for free or discounted.
  11. It will take the edge off. Most first dates involve anxiety, but having sex will help with that. Sex is amazing for ridding us of stresses. Just think about how you feel after an orgasm.
  12. It’s a great workout. Every half hour of sex, depending on how rigorous, can result in the burning of 144 calories or more. Need another excuse?
  13. You’ll have a spring in your step in the morning. Along with that spring, you’ll totally have that post, “I got laid” glow, too, which you already know is a great look for you.
  14. Your vibrator is out of batteries. If that’s the case, you might as well invite someone over to give you a helping hand in the orgasm area.
  15. Their kiss blew your mind. If they’re doling out kisses that get you all hot and bothered, then of course you’re going to want to know if they deliver in their other techniques, too.
  16. You haven’t gotten any in a while. Dry spells can help you appreciate the sex that you’re missing, but dry spells are also for deserts and not people.
  17. Because screw society. No, seriously… screw any society that wants to slut-shame you for owning your sexuality.
  18. You are the master of your domain. Or, if we cut the Seinfeld reference from the equation, it’s your body and you can do whatever you damn well please.
  19. You want to do it. If the urge is there, then go for it. If your vagina is feeling all slick and tingly, then there’s a good chance it won’t be happy until you feed it some sex.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.