One of the only things that has gotten us through the insanity and depravity of a Trump presidency is the guarantee that wherever Donald goes, tales of his ridiculousness will follow. While these stories often leave those of us with morals and values shaking with anger or crying with sadness that this is real life, sometimes there’s a little levity to be found, as with the revelation (er, accusation?) that in high school, Ivanka Trump farted and blamed it on one of her classmates. I live for this!!
- The story comes courtesy of Ivanka’s former BFF. Lysandra Ohrstrom is a writer for Vanity Fair, but she also used to be BFFs with Ivanka when they both attended Chapin, an all-female private school on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Lysandra was even a maid of honor at Ivanka’s wedding to Jared Kushner back in 2009, but their political ideologies couldn’t be further apart at this point.
- They now have a “distant but polite” relationship. While they’re not exactly enemies at this point, they might be after Lysandra’s tell-all (or at least tell some) for Vanity Fair. In the piece, Lysandra claims that Ivanka used to be pretty precocious and really charming which made people like her since they assumed she was nothing like her father. However, in private, she was obsessed with money just like Donald. Lysandra says she once recommended Ivanka read a book about a diner owner, to which Ivanka responded, “Why would you tell me to read a book about f*****g poor people?”
- Ivanka always liked being mischievous. According to Lysandra, Ivanka was always convincing other girls at school to flash their boobs at the hot dog man who ran the cart on the sidewalk outside of their school. She was also apparently really good at talking her way out of any trouble that she happened to get into and leaving everyone else to take the fall.
- Donald wanted to believe Ivanka was the prettiest girl in school. Lysandra says that when Donald asked her this question, she jokingly responded that Ivanka was in the Top 5 and her dad wasn’t amused. “Before I learned that the Trumps have no sense of humor about themselves, I remember answering honestly that she was probably in the top five,” Lysandra wrote. “‘Who’s prettier than Ivanka?’ I recall him asking once with genuine confusion, before correctly naming the two girls I’d had in mind. He described one as a young Cindy Crawford while the other he said had a great figure.”
- Surprise! Ivanka Trump is probably racist. Lysandra revealed that Ivanka “hated” a necklace she used to wear with her name written in Arabic, with Trump telling her one day, “How does your Jewish boyfriend feel when you are having sex and that necklace hits him the face? How can you wear that thing? It just screams, ‘terrorist.'” Looks like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree here.
- However, it’s the fart thing that’s the best. Lysandra said that one of her earliest memories of Ivanka is when she farted but blamed it on a classmate. Listen up, Ivanka – you smelt it, you dealt it.
