I love sex as much as the next person, but I’ve decided to give it up, at least for now. I don’t know when I’ll have sex again — I just know it’s time to take myself out of the game for a while. Here’s why:
- I’m not meeting any guys I actually like. I’m just at a point where I feel like there’s no point in hanging out with a guy I’m not really interested in. I want real love, not a hook-up, so why waste my time on a guy that I’d never want a real relationship with?
- I want it to still be special. And the guys I’m meeting lately just aren’t — at least not to me. Sex might be casual to some people, but I just can’t do it. For me, sex should mean something, and that means it’s all about the right guy.
- I don’t want to confuse sex with emotions. I want to feel something emotionally before I do something physically. I know myself enough to know that if I let myself be physically vulnerable with someone, I’d eventually find an emotional attachment. I don’t want to lust someone, I want to love them, and not just because we’re sexually compatible.
- I still need time to heal my heart. I wasn’t celibate before, because I was in a relationship with someone I really loved. When that ended, I was heartbroken. I might not be shattered now, but I’m definitely not whole enough for a sexual relationship. I’ve been through enough, so until I know I’m really ready, that vulnerability can wait.
- I’m not ready for anything serious — and sex is pretty damn serious. I’ve already admitted that when it comes to sex, I’m anything but casual — but it’s not just about a relationship or the boyfriend/girlfriend label. I want real “I love you” commitment. Otherwise, it just doesn’t mean as much to me.
- I feel like I’ll regret sleeping around. I’m not calling out casual hookups as promiscuous, I’m just saying they’re not really for me. I know that someday I’d settle down and really be ready to give myself to someone again, but I don’t want to look back at a long history of trying to make myself and my heartbreak better by lying in the arms of a list of men who meant nothing to me. That would be my cross to bear and it just wouldn’t be worth it.
- I can please myself. I don’t need a man to get my orgasm — I can do that perfectly fine with my vibrator. So if I don’t have an emotional connection and I don’t need a man for physical pleasure/stress relief, then what would I really be getting out of casual sex?
- I want more than just sex. Even though I don’t want something serious (well at least not until my heart heals), I also don’t want anything casual. I have friends, family and a life to pass the time. I don’t need a random guy to help with that.