I’ve Decided To Spend Time Romancing Myself

To say I’ve had a crappy time in the dating world recently would be an understatement. I’ve been screwed over by some word class players who all seemed like genuinely nice guys so many times that I’m starting to think it’s a sign from the universe that I need to chill with the love hunt for a while. That’s why I’m focusing on romancing myself by doing these things: 

  1. Shaving my legs I basically shave my entire body—legs, underarms, bikini area, even my arms in a pinch. However, I’ve never shaved my body specifically for me—I’ve always done it for whoever the dude I was dating at the time because I never wanted a guy I was seeing to tickle my legs and think, “That chick needs to shave.” Not my concern anymore, though! I’m shaving for me now because I love feeling myself up and not getting prickled by leg hair. It’s actually super pampering. 
  2. Sleeping with a body pillow No, I didn’t buy a body pillow so I could pretend like someone was in bed with me. I bought a body pillow so I could feel heat next to me while I slept because I sleep best when I’m surrounded by warmth. Yeah, a body pillow is something to spoon with which is nice, but that wasn’t my primary focus for buying it!
  3. Actually Netflix and chilling I can’t tell you how many movies have been interrupted during a Netflix night because a guy went in for the “chill” before the rising action of the film even started. I’m so over that. Now when I Netflix and chill, I’ll be doing just that—watching Netflix while chilling on my couch or bed. And if I want to kick the chill up by bringing a vibrator into the mix, I shall do just that. 
  4. Supporting myself What’s romance without support? Nothing. That’s why, in addition to buying myself nice stuff and taking myself on dates, I’m romancing myself with support. I’m investing in myself. I’m taking the time to listen to my needs, desires, and goals to make sure I’m actually pushing myself to succeed.
  5. Cleaning my space I’ve decided to keep my room and house just as clean as I would if someone (a man) was coming over to hang out. A cluttered space is a cluttered mind—that’s a saying, right?—and I don’t want a cluttered mind. I feel my best self when everything, including myself, is as clean and organized as humanly possible.
  6. Cooking myself dinner I’ve never been able to cook well, but I’ve lucked out with the guys I’ve dated because they’ve all been pretty good in the kitchen. And while that’s great and all, it also kind of sucks because I’ve been relying on boyfriends to feed me (well, boyfriends and In-n-Out). Now, I’m exploring this whole “amateur chef” thing (and by exploring, I mean I bought Chrissy Teigen’s cookbook and I intend on making a salad topless just like she did, according to her Instagram post).
  7. Spending more time without my phone I think phones are basically the devil and that’s because they’re a gateway to social media. I honestly hate most social media platforms (even though I’m on a majority of them all day every day) because they cause me so much drama and they tempt me into cheating on me because sub-par looking gentlemen from high school constantly slide into my DMs giving me half-assed compliments that I accidentally fall for out of desperation.
  8. Complimenting myself I spend a decent amount of time complimenting myself, but not in a conceited way. My favorite part about dating and being courted is all the attention and compliments that are thrown my way. I love receiving “Good morning, gorgeous” texts, and since I’m romancing myself now, I’ve been the one sending myself these texts. Before I go to bed, I text myself something nice so that when I wake up, that positivity is already sitting on my phone.
  9. Spending big bucks on my hair I made the executive decision to change my hairstyle. I went from a short bob to a full-on curly weave. Why? Not to make myself more attractive to guys but because I wanted longer, fuller hair for years and I finally decided to make it a reality. Now, whenever I leave the house, I feel like Beyonce and there are truly no words to explain how great that feels.
  10. Having a routine Every night before I go to bed, I have a routine designed specifically for myself. I take a hot shower while listening to music, I put on my pajamas, wash my face, read at least a chapter of a book in my room with a scented candle burning and then I watch a couple episodes of either Family Guy or The Office. That’s my self-love routine and it’s honestly the most romantic thing I’ve ever experienced.
Jordan White is a writer based in Scottsdale, Arizona with more than 8 years of experience. She graduated from Northern Arizona University with a degree in Rhetoric and Creative Writing in 2015 and while there, she wrote for The Daily Wildcat. She has since written for sites including FanBread, and, of course, Bolde. You can find about more her on Facebook. She has a passion for giving her audience something to laugh about and despises the heat more than anything.