Why I’ve Officially Given Up On Tinder

Tinder sucks for many reasons. When the app first launched a few years ago, I was ALL kinds of excited. Finally, a dating app that allowed you to only converse with people you felt initial mutual attraction to! (That was the idea, anyway.) Well, crap, did that logic ever backfire. I’m officially done with Tinder — here’s why:

Tinder isn’t a thoughtful way to connect.

At first, the thought of finding love on Tinder was exciting, and I got eternally hopeful for and excited about each and every single date I went on. But the more I right swipes I had that never led to real matches, the more deflated I became. Would “We met on Tinder!” really be the opening speech I want for my wedding someday, anyway?

My experiences have tainted my optimism

. I’ve gone on so many first dates that didn’t lead to second dates that I’ve completely lost count. I’ve had great dates and been ghosted, I’ve been blatantly propositioned for sex, and I’ve been generally disappointed overall. I’vedeactivated, deleted and reinstalled more times than I remember. My optimism about Tinder is officially dead.

Most people are just looking for an ego boost.

Even I’m guilty of this. You’re sitting at home bored on a Friday night, too lazy to get dressed and go out, so you opt for a night in your pajamas with a glass (or several) of wine while mindlessly swiping through a sea of faces and looking to make connections without effort. Most times, we never even speak a word to each other. We’re just a ploy to each other to boost our own egos.

Your shot at real love is just as likely in the real world.

The chances of making a real and lasting connection on Tinder are as rare as meeting the person of my dreams in the line at Costco. I’m ready to take my chances in real life and I’m ready to put in more effort for a better reward.

I’m sick of penis pictures and perverse messages.

 Unfortunately, the gallery of random strangers’ junk cannot be unseen in my mind. The messages asking me to meet up for sex and the dozens of awkward conversations I’ve had with men who “aren’t looking for anything serious, just looking for fun” are ridiculous.

I keep seeing committed people on there, which makes me question humanity.

This one just seriously pisses me off. I have regrettably seen a lot of people that I know are in long-term relationships on Tinder, which only proves how crappy it’s become. It’s literally just about hooking up now, and I’m looking for love.

I’m not paying for Tinder Plus.

 I don’t need to pay $20 per month just to be exposed to all of the crappy points mentioned above.

Only 10% of your matches actually message you back.

Another thing that baffles me is that I could have dozens of matches, but I’ll only end up talking to about 10% of them. Messages go routinely unanswered and people fail to reach out even when they’ve shown their interest by swiping right on my face. Wtf was the point of swiping right then? Ugh.

I’m sick of relationships that lead to nowhere.

I’m sick of text relationships and first dates that never become anything else. I’m sick of spending hours without a response, only to see that the guys I’ve been talking to have been active online. I’m sick of studying someone’s Tinder and texting behaviors just to gauge his interest. I just want it to be simple again. I want real life.

I’m sick of competing in the catalog.

Because even when we make great connections, we can’t help but wonder if that’s as good as it gets… so we keep swiping, not giving anyone a real chance. I’m tossing my catalog.

Tinder is an addicting cycle, and I’m ready for rehab.

If I reach for my phone every time I need validation or feel a desperate need to find love, it’s officially a problem. We need to reconnect physically and redirect our expectations back to reality.

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