I’ve Got Baggage, But I Still Deserve To Find Love

I’ve Got Baggage, But I Still Deserve To Find Love ©iStock/Thomas_Zsebok_Images

Like any girl, I’ve got my bruises and scars. I may have a few more than you’re used to, but that doesn’t mean I’m not ready to love with my whole heart. Sure, I have baggage but I don’t expect you to haul it around for me — I’m dealing with it, but it takes time. I’m still here, my heart’s still beating, and I’m just as ready as anyone else to love and be loved in return.

  1. No person will ever come baggage-free. The idea of someone being completely free of baggage is BS. Life is nothing if not a constant baggage dump on all of us. The fact is, we don’t know what we’ll encounter, and having baggage is just part of the unpredictable nature of life. Wanting someone who doesn’t have any issues in their past whatsoever is just unrealistic. It’ll never happen.
  2. I’ve been hurt, but I’m not hurting. There’s a difference, you know. I’m no longer actively going through the things I was dealing with that gave me all this emotional load I carry around. Just because they’re in my past doesn’t mean that I’m completely over them, sure, but the point is I’m not being hurt right now. I’ve had time to grow and heal, even if I’m not all the way there yet.
  3. I deal with my stuff. I take responsibility for what I’ve been carrying with me, in the form of owning it as mine. I don’t expect you to deal with it for me. A little understanding will go a long way, but at the end of the day, I know it’s mine to disassemble. I’m still working on it, but I own what’s in my past and the scars it left on me. I know there’s no one who will be a magic bandaid to fix all of it, and I’ll never treat you like one.
  4. Baggage isn’t the fault of the bearer. It’s totally normal to make mistakes, and sometimes, that’s where baggage comes into play. But the truth is, a lot of it is due to others mistreating me, and the fallout I felt from it. Whether these traumas come from decisions I made myself, or the choices others made for me, it’s not my fault that I have more than others might. I’m working on forgiving the people who hurt me, and forgiving myself for whatever guilt I might have for ever being in that situation in the first place.
  5. My past taught me something. I’m not pretending to have it all figured out, but what I’ve learned from my emotional baggage is that I’m stronger than I think. I’m better equipped to face the future with the lessons from my past firmly in sight. I’ve turned something awful into an asset, so why should you be afraid of it if I’m not?
  6. I’m more mature because of it. Yeah, I know, nothing makes my eyes roll harder than someone claiming they’re more mature than others their age. But in this case, it’s definitely true. Instead of letting my baggage break me, I started unraveling how it got there in the first place. Maybe I’ve been in therapy more often than other girls you’ve dated, but all of that has undoubtedly contributed to me being the mature, responsible adult I am today.
  7. I will love harder because I know what it’s like to lose it. I’m not going to ever put myself in those hurtful kinds of situations again, but I do know what it’s like when love turns to hate. I’ve got a firm grasp on what I want from life from all the things I’ve already endured in it, and this means I’m not going to let the real thing slip out of my sights without a fight. I’m ready to love because of all the stuff I’ve been through, not in spite of it. You might be surprised at how well taking a chance on a girl with baggage turns out in the end.
Becca Rose is a writer with high hopes for her student loan debt. She's a musician and aspiring novelist, but don't ask her to write poetry, because she's terrible at it. She has written for HelloGiggles, The Toast, The Huffington Post, and more. You can find her on Twitter @bookbeaut