I’ve Got Some Serious Baggage, But I’m Done Letting It Weigh Me Down

After you’ve been through a few tough breakups, it’s almost impossible not to let them affect you in some way. Depending on just how bad your past relationships were, you might find yourself dealing with some serious emotional scars that could affect your ability to trust and love again. I may have let the baggage from my past negatively impact my future before, but this is why I’m never letting that happen again:

  1. I’m determined to become stronger rather than giving up. I got knocked down, but I won’t stay down. I let the pain of lost love keep me from the game for too long already. I went through earth-shattering heartbreak, but I’m still here. I’m going to remember what I survived so I can keep searching for love and never forget that if I lived through it once, I can do it again.
  2. My exes don’t deserve a second more of my time. They showed me their true colors a long time ago by treating me like crap while we were together and even worse after our breakup. Why should I continue to let them hold me back? It’s time I moved on and let go for good. I’m putting those failed relationships behind me, and I refuse to let them steer me away from future success.
  3. I’m choosing to learn from my mistakes. I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to pretend like I was an angel in my past relationships. The guys I dated made a lot of mistakes, but I did too. I can’t keep blaming my exes for the fact that our relationships didn’t work out. I’m going to take those lapses in judgment and start learning from them instead of letting them continue to hold me back.
  4. Not all guys are the same. Getting dumped sucks, especially when you have a long history of horrible breakups like I do. I started to think that that was how relationships go and being crappy was just how guys are, but that’s not true. I just kept dating the same kind of jerks. Not all guys will treat me like crap — I just have to stop letting them.
  5. I deserve real love. Sure, I’m carrying a heavy load, but does that mean I lost my chance at something real? I refuse to let that be my story. I deserve to fall head over heels for a man who falls right back. My past is no indication of what I deserve, because I’m worth a hell of a lot more than what I’ve gotten before.
  6. I refuse to be the thing standing in my way of finding happiness. Falling in love was amazing, and even though it hurt like hell when it ended, I’m not going to let my fear stand in my way of finding it again. I have baggage, but I can’t let that weigh me down to the point where I just stop trying. I’m better than that.
  7. We all have history. I’m not the first girl to get her heart broken, and I certainly won’t be the last. It’s not just women, though — men have baggage too. I have to stop looking at myself as damaged goods and start realizing that we all have a past. I have an ex, and the love of my life probably will, too. If he can put his past in the past, then so can I.
  8. I miss the girl I used to be. I used to wear my heart on my sleeve. I may have been naive, but I wasn’t afraid to love. The dating game is always going to come with risks, but I miss having an optimistic outlook. I can’t let the negativity of heartbreak eat away at who I am. I used to be a girl who would fight for love, and I think it’s finally time I bring her back.
  9. I won’t let heartbreak get the best of me. I’m better and stronger than that. Being the girl with the broken heart won’t be my final mark on the world. I’m choosing to rise above my past. I’ll always have the baggage, but I’m finally healing myself.
  10. I need a man who can handle my scars. I won’t let my past break me, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t leave a mark. I’ve experienced both love and heart-wrenching loss. My baggage isn’t all of me, but it is a part of me, and I need a man who can handle a woman with a past.
  11. At some point I have to put the past in the past. That’s the only way I’ll be able to keep my head in the present and eventually have a future with someone. I can keep contemplating what went wrong in my previous relationships, but at some point, I have to get over them. Letting this baggage get the best of me is only prolonging the pain, and I need to focus on my present and future.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.