I’ve Gotten Blown Off By Men So Much Lately That I’m Literally Questioning Everything

I used to think my problem was that I wasn’t trying to date but I’ve met with a rude awakening. I opened up to the possibility of meeting a man by actually putting myself out there and all I’ve gotten in return is a whole lot of rejection. Here’s why I’m feeling totally hopeless:

  1. I can’t even get a date out of a guy. I thought, okay, I’ll go on dates and see if there’s any chemistry. I’ll be open to different kinds of men—can’t know what works unless I try. That might be a good way to approach dates if I got any. I seriously can’t find a guy who will follow through long enough to even ask me out. It’s legitimately depressing.
  2. The dating scene is getting worse and worse. If I had known a few years ago that things would deteriorate to this level, I would’ve found me a good man and locked him down. I had no idea that Tinder would come about and swiftly create the demise of good old-fashioned romance. I hate this new dating world I live in. I want nothing more than to destroy all dating apps and the awful way they’ve ruined actual interactions.
  3. There are so many available options that guys don’t try at all. It’s like they’re sitting there with a huge menu in front of them and it’s so overwhelming that they can’t decide what to eat. If they try me out and I’m not immediately to their liking, they move on easily. There’s no need for effort and it’s sickening. Of course they blow me off—they barely even think of me as a human being. I’m just another face on a screen.
  4. Men constantly decide I’m too much work. Because I have needs and feelings and I’m not some accommodating robot, I’m too much trouble to bother with. There are so many options online that they can easily find some girl who doesn’t require anything of them. I avoid all the douchebags by refusing to let go of my standards but I’m getting rejected by so many men that it’s starting to screw with my head.
  5. I demand common courtesy, therefore I’m considered a pain in the ass. Women must have horribly low standards these days because guys are always shocked when I want them to give me respectful treatment. Yes, if you want the pleasure of my company, I expect you to plan a date. It doesn’t have to be fancy but at least come up with something! The level of laziness among single men is appalling. No wonder none of them have girlfriends.
  6. Even when I think things are going well, I get ghosted. Sometimes guys actually lead me to believe they’re truly interested. They say lots of pretty things and compliment me. They state their excitement to spend time with me. Funny enough, when it comes down to actually jumping in, they suddenly make excuses and disappear. What kind of world do I live in where guys are too afraid to actually meet in person? It’s bizarre.
  7. I get tossed aside so frequently that it’s messing with my head. I had to delete all the dating apps. I know that I’m a wonderful woman and a great girlfriend, but the callous disregard of men online made me question my own self-worth. I started thinking that maybe there’s something really wrong with me that these guys find me too intimidating and ambitious for them. In reality, I can’t change the fact that they’re so insecure.
  8. I like who I am but it seems most guys don’t. I’m tired of men who say one thing and then either back out of it or act completely the opposite. One minute I’m the coolest, most genuine, interesting, grounded woman they’ve ever met. The next I’m too much for them and they feel that I “deserve better” than them. Just be honest and quit with the lame cop-outs. I like who I am but this pattern makes me feel bad.
  9. I try not to take rejection personally but I have feelings. I do try to remember that because it’s all online, people don’t treat me like a real live person. It’s easy to swipe left, or flake out, or disregard another human like they don’t exist. I try not to make it about me but when it happens over and over again, I do feel hurt. I’m a sensitive being whether I like it or not. That’s why I’ve decided I’m better off not trying to date at all.
  10. It makes me feel small and invisible to be passed over so frequently. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even know how to talk to men anymore. I’m so afraid I’ll think the wrong thing or show interest only to be dismissed yet again. It seems easier to ignore them altogether. I thought I could do this and wait for a guy to really try to win me over, but no one is trying, and sometimes I feel like the most unappealing woman alive.
  11. I almost feel like I’m losing my sanity. It’s hard to maintain a sense of self when everything that is happening hints to the contrary. I know that I’m not being ridiculous in asking for common decency, but then that evil little voice in my head whispers, “What if you’re crazy? What if you’re really the problem?” I have to tell it to shut up so I don’t lose my mind.
  12. I love my life but being dismissed by men puts a damper on it. It’s easier to ignore dudes altogether than to allow them to cast a shadow on my otherwise awesome life. I’m very happy except when it comes to love. It definitely affects me sometimes—I do want romance in my life, though I don’t need it. It’s tough to keep reminding myself how good I have it even though men are constantly blowing me off.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.