I’ve Had More One Night Stands Than Relationships And I’m Okay With That

Looking back over your sexual escapades is typically not the best idea. That’s especially true when you come to some harsh realizations about who (and how many) you’ve done the dirty with. I’ve definitely realized something not-so savory recently.

  1. Being obsessed with body count. When I was in college, it was so common for my friends and me to discuss how many men we had been with. I’m not sure why, but our “number” was a common topic of discussion. When we would sleep with someone new, he would be added to our list and suddenly our number went up (as if that really mattered).
  2. Counting has been ingrained in me. Ever since then, keeping my number in mind has been something of a norm for me. I don’t think about it all the time, especially now that I’m in a serious relationship and my number has reached finality. But knowing this number is something I could easily read off if asked.
  3. This isn’t exactly typical. Maybe it’s a generational gap or cultural, but not everyone keeps track of their number. I asked my fiancé what his number was and he honestly didn’t know. And really, does it matter? No, it doesn’t. So why bother asking?
  4. I used to go over my counts. Every now and then, I used to go through my number and think of each person, always feeling convinced that I was missing someone (I never was). Then one day, I realized a pretty horrible trend in my count.
  5. I was a one-night stand girl. A bit more than half of the men I had been with had been one-night stands. And, I had three times as many one-night stands as relationships. Yikes.
  6. I was always the shy girl. I had a serious boyfriend in high school. We were each other’s firsts, you know how that story goes. Anyway, he was the only person in high school I ever did anything with. I never went wild. No one seemed very interested in me.
  7. Then I went to college. I attended community college for my first two years, and while I explored a little bit, I didn’t really go nuts. No, that came when I went away to college. I don’t know what it was, but there seemed to be this kind of pressure to hook up. I had never been great with guys but most of my friends were. They were hooking up with guys the first few weeks and I hadn’t hooked up with anyone. Sure, I felt left out, but I wasn’t seeking a boy just to fit in. I wanted to hook up, too.
  8. Everything snowballed. In one semester, I had logged all of the one night stands on my list. All. Of. Them. (Talk about going wild!). I had never really gotten much attention from guys in the past. I did sometimes, here and there, but I had just never been one of those girls that all the guys wanted. In college, guys seemed to want me. Strike that, looking back, guys just wanted to get laid.
  9. I wanted to get laid, but I also wanted a relationship. I was a young girl, I didn’t know anything about being in a real relationship. I thought (naively) that if I slept with someone, we might be able to start a relationship. That wasn’t how it worked. Not by a long shot. I was giving guys what they wanted and then they were done.
  10. You can’t turn a one-night stand into a relationship. I’m sure there are some people who can argue that, but more often than not, it just doesn’t work. I really thought that I could make it work that way. The fact is, none of the relationships I was in began as one-night stands.
  11. Sleeping around was a learning experience for me. I don’t regret sleeping around. At the time, I had some fun! I picked up some great sexual lessons along the way. I also learned some valuable tips on how I don’t want to be treated. At least when I’m older, I won’t look back and wonder “what if”. I’m a woman who enjoyed her youth for a short time and is now enjoying adult life without wondering what I missed out on!