I don’t like to admit that I’ve never truly been in love. It makes people get these condescending looks of pity on their faces, and they start to say things like, “One day, you’ll understand.” It’s so annoying. After all, just because I’ve never been in loved doesn’t mean I don’t know what it means to love well and how to do it.
Spare me the pity. It’s not like I’m dying to find romantic fulfillment. I’m not sad or pathetic just because I’ve never been in love. If I’m not worried about it, why should you be? I know lots of people think it’s the most important thing in life, and I know I do want to be in love one day, but right now? I’m focused on different things.
I’m not a smaller person because of it. I happen to like myself a whole lot, and I don’t think I’m any less of a person for not having been in love yet. I don’t think being in love creates a special reaction in your brain that suddenly turns you into a whole person. I like to think I can be a full, well-rounded individual, even without having fallen in love.
I know what it’s like to find someone special. Even if my romantic endeavors have ended before the stage where we trade I love yous, I know what it’s like to feel the spark of chemistry that comes before it. I’m familiar with the feelings that come with it, and I know how heady that rush can be. When it happens for real, it’ll be even more amazing.
It’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. I’ve been through a lot of stuff in my life, and I know that things take the time they take to happen. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with me for not having been in love yet. I think it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen. I know enough about love to understand that setting a timetable for it is useless.
There’s more than one way to love fully. Love is love, no matter the romantic or platonic context. I may not have fallen in love with someone in a relationship, but I know what love is like when it comes to friendships and family. It takes a different shape, sure, but the essence of it is the same no matter the context.
Love is sacrifice. It’s being willing to make a commitment to someone and to stick to it, no matter the cost. I have people in my life that I’ve invested into, people that I would sacrifice for any time they needed it. The mechanics of love might look different in a romantic relationship, but the important parts stick no matter what kind of relationship it is.
I have such a big heart. It’s not being wasted just because I’m not currently in love with someone. I have a lot of love to give to the people in my life, and I try and use it when I can in my day to day. I’m not unable to love people just because I’m not dating someone.
I’m not desperate. I don’t feel a huge sense of impending doom just because I haven’t been in love. I feel like I’m loving the people around me every day, and that should be enough for now. Being desperate would not only be against my nature, it’d send the wrong message to any guy I may end up with in the end. No, thanks.
I know how to love well. I try my best to give the kind of love I want to receive. This means I’m working hard on loving my family and my friends in my day-to-day life. I’m not always great at it, but I believe I know how to love someone else. I don’t just view it as practice, either – loving the people around me is good for its own sake.
I know what good love should feel like. I haven’t experienced it yet, not with a guy I’ve dated. But I know what it should look like, what shape love should take. I have seen it in others, and I’ve experienced it in my own life from non-romantic relationships. I believe I’ll find that kind of love one day, but for now? I’m filled with love every day, even if it isn’t the romantic kind.
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