People are often shocked that I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Sure, I’ve had some experience with love but sometimes I think people are judging me for having had a lot of short-term flings but nothing serious. But I don’t understand why. What’s the big deal anyway?? I’m totally okay with the fact I haven’t yet been in love – here’s why: can honestly say I’ve never been in love. I do want to be one day, but I don’t view myself as lacking in anything just because I’ve never been exclusive with someone, and here’s why:
- I’m not ready to settle down. That might sound like a cop out but it’s really true. I have goals and dreams for myself, and they don’t have room for being tied to a specific place or person. In fact, I’ve rejected prospects for serious relationships because I didn’t want to lose out on the ability to go for every opportunity I want.
- The relationships I have had each taught me something. A relationship doesn’t have to be committed for you to grow from the experience. Each romantic thing I’ve been involved with has helped me grow as a person, sometimes hugely. Not having it be an “official” thing doesn’t mean I wasn’t present and learning from each heartbreak and last kiss.
- Time spent on myself is never time wasted.There are so many things I’ve been able to accomplish because I have the freedom to be selfish. Focusing on growing my skill set and career enables me to become a better, more fully-rounded person. I’ll never regret setting aside romantic entanglements to focus on myself.
- I feel loved in other ways. Being in love is the ultimate goal of a lot of rom-coms, but it’s not a necessary quality IRL to feel valued. I have friends and family who love me deeply and know me, from my worst to the best moments. I know that I am grounded in their love just as much if not more than I would be by a romantic relationship.
- Being single isn’t a judgment on who I am. I have never defined myself by my relationships, and I’m not about to start now. I’m secure in my own sense of confidence, and I know I have a lot to offer anyone. Just because I haven’t been in a loving, long-term relationship, it doesn’t mean I’m incapable of it.
- I haven’t met the right person yet. I don’t know this for certain, of course, but I do believe that there are people who are meant to come into your life for a reason, and that some twisty sense of fate brings them to you when you’re ready. Maybe the timing just hasn’t been right.
- Someone will be worth sacrificing for, one day. There are certain qualities I’m always a sucker for, but the moment has never been right for me to commit. I’ve been told that’ll change, that I will meet someone and want to give up my independence to make it work. I don’t know what makes someone worth that, but I have a feeling that I’ll know it when I see it.
- I have time. Most importantly, I’m still pretty young. Nothing is guaranteed but I’ll hopefully have a lot of life ahead of me to live. The pressure to find someone right now just isn’t on my radar, because I know I have time to find love, when it’s right.
