People are often shocked that I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Sure, I’ve had some experience with love but sometimes I think people are judging me for having had a lot of short-term flings but nothing serious. But I don’t understand why. What’s the big deal anyway?? I’m totally okay with the fact I haven’t yet been in love – here’s why: can honestly say I’ve never been in love. I do want to be one day, but I don’t view myself as lacking in anything just because I’ve never been exclusive with someone, and here’s why:
I’m not ready to settle down.
That might sound like a cop out but it’s really true. I have goals and dreams for myself, and they don’t have room for being tied to a specific place or person. In fact, I’ve rejected prospects for serious relationships because I didn’t want to lose out on the ability to go for every opportunity I want.
The relationships I have had each taught me something.
A relationship doesn’t have to be committed for you to grow from the experience. Each romantic thing I’ve been involved with has helped me grow as a person, sometimes hugely. Not having it be an “official” thing doesn’t mean I wasn’t present and learning from each heartbreak and last kiss.
Time spent on myself is never time wasted.
There are so many things I’ve been able to accomplish because I have the freedom to be selfish. Focusing on growing my skill set and career enables me to become a better, more fully-rounded person. I’ll never regret setting aside romantic entanglements to focus on myself.
I feel loved in other ways.
Being in love is the ultimate goal of a lot of rom-coms, but it’s not a necessary quality IRL to feel valued. I have friends and family who love me deeply and know me, from my worst to the best moments. I know that I am grounded in their love just as much if not more than I would be by a romantic relationship.
Being single isn’t a judgment on who I am.
I have never defined myself by my relationships, and I’m not about to start now. I’m secure in my own sense of confidence, and I know I have a lot to offer anyone. Just because I haven’t been in a loving, long-term relationship, it doesn’t mean I’m incapable of it.
I haven’t met the right person yet.
I don’t know this for certain, of course, but I do believe that there are people who are meant to come into your life for a reason, and that some twisty sense of fate brings them to you when you’re ready. Maybe the timing just hasn’t been right.
Someone will be worth sacrificing for, one day.
There are certain qualities I’m always a sucker for, but the moment has never been right for me to commit. I’ve been told that’ll change, that I will meet someone and want to give up my independence to make it work. I don’t know what makes someone worth that, but I have a feeling that I’ll know it when I see it.
I have time.
Most importantly, I’m still pretty young. Nothing is guaranteed but I’ll hopefully have a lot of life ahead of me to live. The pressure to find someone right now just isn’t on my radar, because I know I have time to find love, when it’s right.
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