I’ve been single for a while now, and the longer it goes on, the less hopeful I feel about finding love again. It’s so much easier to just stay in my comfortable routine and live my life quietly than to put myself out there and risk an endless stream of disappointment, rejection, and heartbreak. To be honest, I don’t even know how to find love anymore and I’m kind of scared to try. What am I supposed to do?
- I’ve forgotten how to flirt (if I ever knew at all). I feel like a pretty confident woman, but when I attempt to flirt, all of that disappears in an instant. I hardly ever do it, and when I try, I fail miserably. I get all awkward and blush like I’m in middle school. It’s pretty embarrassing. How am I supposed to find love when I can’t even talk to a guy?
- I’ve forgotten how to date. Even if I could get to the stage of actually going out on a date with a guy, I’m not so sure it would matter. I’m so uncomfortable on dates. I feel entirely out of my element. Like anything else in life, it gets better with practice… but I haven’t had any practice in so long that my game is terribly out of shape. I’m so bad on dates that I’m scared to even try to go on one.
- I don’t know how to meet guys in the first place. I never had to worry so much about this when I was younger. I met guys at school or clubs or work or at social events. Now I’m single AF, and everyone I know is in a serious relationship. Anywhere I could potentially meet guys, like the gym, I get too nervous to talk to them.
- I’m naturally antisocial anyway. It certainly doesn’t help that I’d rather be at home on my couch than go out. I know I’ll never find love if I don’t put in a little effort, but I’m scared. I’m so shy that I don’t do well meeting men in big groups. It’s much easier to simply stick to my comfort zone instead.
- I’m lazy about dating. Even if I have an opportunity to go out on a date, I’ll make up a million excuses not to do it. My fear of going out and meeting a new guy is stronger than my desire to find someone. I don’t want to make an effort and put myself out there only to find out that we don’t mesh or that he bores the crap out of me. It feels like a waste of time.
- I don’t like dealing with the BS that comes along with love. Quite honestly, I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to have love, but not have to deal with all the compromise and energy that a relationship entails. I’m scared that if I actually do find love again, it won’t be as great as I hoped and I’ll regret not keeping my single status. I figure it’s way easier to stick with what I know.
- I’m terrified of opening up. I’ve been in my comfy bubble so long that I don’t want to leave. I like keeping to myself and not having to show anyone my flaws and shortcomings. I can navigate my life quite easily if I maintain emotional distance from other people. Finding love means I have to open up to a man with the potential risk of him not liking what he sees.
- I’m super settled in my way of life. I’m scared of finding love and disrupting the life I already have. I’ve gotten very used to my routines as a single girl. I also enjoy the freedom and ability to make spontaneous decisions without the risk of affecting anyone else. I like doing exactly what I do when I do it, and if I go look for love, I’ll lose all of that flexibility (or at least a good chunk of it).
- I hate rejection. The biggest reason for me to avoid looking for love? My fear of rejection. It feels much worse to put myself out there and be rejected than to do nothing at all. I don’t have to feel bad about myself when I’m safely single. When I’m rejected by a man, even if it isn’t personal, I have a hard time dealing. It’s difficult enough getting out there in the first place.
- I’m afraid of being seriously hurt. I stay single for long periods of time after breakups because they affect me so drastically. It takes me so long to get over my exes that once I do, I want to enjoy my happiness. The last thing I feel like doing is bringing another guy into my life, even when I get lonely. I’m scared of being hurt yet again.
- I don’t feel like I can get the guys I want. I do know what I’m looking for now, but I don’t know how to go about getting it. The problem is, I’m looking for a strong and confident man. I want someone ambitious and intelligent. Whenever I meet the guys I find attractive, I feel inadequate. I know what I want, and when I see it, I run away terrified.
- I secretly hope the right guy will just fall into my lap like magic. It would be so wonderful if someone came along who made everything simple and kept me from letting my fears ruin our chances. If my prince would just drop into my life and love me immediately for exactly who I am, I wouldn’t have to be afraid of love at all. I wish that kind of magic existed, but it doesn’t. Unfortunately, the reality is that dating is REALLY tough.
- I don’t remember how to be in a relationship. I’ve been in a relationship with myself for so long that it feels as if there’s no room for anyone else anymore. I haven’t done so well with my past boyfriends, anyway. I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to love. I don’t want to go looking for it because it seems inevitable that I’ll pick the wrong guy or screw it up. What’s the point?
