I’ve Tried To Move On, But I Can’t — And I Hate It

We broke up for a reason and it was definitely for the best. We weren’t meant to be together and I don’t want you back in any way. There’s just one problem: despite how hard I’ve worked to move on and how much I wish it wasn’t so, I still love you.

  1. The bad outweighed the good but my heart apparently doesn’t think so. No matter how bad you were to me, for some reason that hasn’t stopped me from loving you. I wish that all the bad could make me forget the good but it hasn’t. Luckily, I’m smart enough to know that just because I haven’t stopped loving you, that doesn’t mean I should go back to you. I don’t care how much I love you — it doesn’t make up for the fact that you don’t know how to treat me right.
  2. I wish I could forget your promises. You said that you would love me forever. You promised that you would never hurt me. The worst part is every time you made those forever kind of promises, I actually believed you. I feel like a fool and I should hate you for breaking every promise you made, but at the end of the day, I’m still really in love.
  3. I’m ready to move on. I want to move on — I just wish I could stop loving you first. No man is going to want to date a girl who still has feelings for her ex. Guys don’t want to put up with that kind of baggage and I don’t blame them. I’m ready for you to exit my heart. Unfortunately, I just don’t know how to make myself fall out of love with you. If I’m still in love, is it even possible for me to put you behind me?
  4. You broke my heart. I’ve never experienced heartbreak like that before. You turned my whole world upside down and it took me a long time to figure out how to set things right again. I’m getting my life back on track, but there’s one step I can’t seem to take—removing you from the place you hold in my heart. You broke me, but even when I put the pieces back together, you were still there.
  5. I want to let go of all the plans we made. I don’t know how to do that, though. We dreamed up a future together and I can’t seem to forget all the plans we made. I can’t seem to get you out of my head or out of my dreams. I wanted to marry you, have your children, spend our lives happily ever after, and finally grow old together. I want to forget the future we imagined, but I just can’t seem to let go of it.
  6. I think I’m really in love with the man you used to be. I hate the man you are now, but that doesn’t make me forget who you were. I wish I could erase the boy I fell in love with from my head but I can’t. You were such a big part of my life and I don’t know how to let those memories go. I don’t want to love you anymore, but I can’t help but love the boy you once were.
  7. I thought you were “The One.” I can’t seem to get over that idea. If you’re really the right guy for me then life really handed me a crappy deal. I thought we were forever and I can’t seem to move past that. I believed that we were meant for each other, but I don’t want to be meant for you anymore because no matter how much I love you, I know we’d never live happily ever after.
  8. I deserve so much better than the love you gave me. I’m a good woman and I was good to you, but you never appreciated me. You took my love for granted. Instead of loving me with your whole heart, you always had one foot out the door. You should have been dedicated to us, but there were always other things on your mind. I was never your top priority, and I don’t want to love a man who would neglect me like that anymore.
  9. I was strong enough to walk away. That strength didn’t make my love for you disappear, though. Just because I know we shouldn’t be together doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. My head knows what’s best, but it still can’t control my heart. I’m happy that I had the strength to let you go, but I just wish that strength would help me get over you.
  10. My heart wishes you were a better man. I want a guy who’s going to bring out the best in me, but you bring out the worst. I know you’re not good for me. The problem is that I still wish you were. I still love you, but luckily enough for me, I know I can’t just listen to my heart on this issue. My head knows what’s best. I want you to be a better man, but I know I can’t change you and that’s why I wish I could at least stop loving you.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.