Yes, I Judge You By Who You Hang Out With — I Won’t Date You If Your Friends Do These Things

They say you can tell a lot about a person by the people they spend their time with, and from what I’ve seen, it’s definitely true. I’ve given guys the benefit of the doubt before after they swore they weren’t like their asinine friends, but now I know better. I don’t care how sweet you seem — if your bros do any of these things, you’re never going to be able to call me your girlfriend:

  1. Make sexist jokes all the damn time I’ll do everything I can to be friends with your friends, and I’m willing to let a lot slide. Still, the minute one of them makes a sexist joke, you should know that my opinion will change. If you’re fine with them cutting down my entire gender just for a laugh, I’m not going to stick around for long.
  2. Tell you that you’re whipped I’ll never try to control you or tell you what to do. It’s not in my nature and, frankly, I’ve got my own stuff going on. So if you hang out with the type of guys who tell you that you’re whipped, I’m out. The guys who spew that kind of BS are too immature for a real relationship, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that you are too. Call me in five years’ time, yeah?
  3. Play video games all night long Are you 15 years old or something? Staying up all night to play video games with your besties may seem like no big deal, but it is to me. I don’t want a guy who acts like a big kid. I want someone who’s driven and pushes himself to be the best he can be. Having a video game hobby is no big deal, but if it starts interfering with your health, your job, or our relationship, it’s game over for us.
  4. Go on drunken “bachelor” trips This is something that you really should’ve grown out of by now. Grown men don’t need to act like high school boys to inflate their own egos. If you get your self-esteem from how many girls you’ve slept with on vacation, you’re not the guy for me. In fact, you’re probably not the guy for any woman with standards.
  5. Moan about their partners If your friendships are based on you all sitting around bitching about your significant others, it makes me worry. It’s not me being insecure — I just don’t exactly adore the idea of you talking about how annoying I am with your friends. If I hear your best pals referring to their girlfriends as “sticks in the mud” or “the old ball and chain”, I’ll know that you’re probably going to do the same to me eventually. I’m not some needy, desperate girlfriend, so don’t you dare paint me as one.
  6. Turn up at your home unannounced If I’m chilling at your place and watching a movie, the last thing I want is for your buddies to come knocking at the door. Honestly, don’t these guys call before they show up with a six-pack? If you have the kind of pals who think that your house is their home, things are gonna get kind of awkward.
  7. Cheat and ask you to cover for them If you’re willing to lie for your friends when they cheat on their partners, I’m not going anywhere near you. Not only does it show a severe lack of morality, but it also makes me wonder if they’ve done the same for you. When there’s a culture of cheating among friends, I can’t expect that you’ll miraculously be the only one who doesn’t believe in being unfaithful.
  8. Expect you to pay for them When was the last time your bestie paid the bill? If you’re the one always forking up the cash, it means that your so-called friend is taking you for a ride. This might sound a little harsh, but I really don’t want to dedicate my life to a pushover. I need a guy who not only has a backbone, but also knows how to manage his finances.
  9. Act like children When groups of guys get together, they can be an utter nightmare. Some men seem to regress to the infantile stage when they’re around one another. Their humor becomes strongly orientated around the toilet, and they become obsessed with ridiculous bets and dares. If this describes your group of friends, I just can’t put the time into a relationship with you. I’m a grown woman, not a babysitter.
  10. Drink like fish Hey, I love a glass (read: bottle) of wine on a Saturday night now and then. There’s nothing wrong with that. Still, if I’ve never seen your mates without a beer in their hands, that’s a bit worrying. If they’re always drinking, it probably means that you are, too. I want a man who’s sober for at least some of the time we’re together, and I know I’m not going to get that if all of your friends drink more alcohol than water.
Charlotte is a freelance writer who's addicted to binge-watching TV, drinking far too much coffee, and writing articles.