Just Because He Seems Perfect Online Doesn’t Mean He Is In Real Life

He’s so perfect online and even over the phone. Your heart melts every time you talk. You can’t help it; you’re in love. Now the big question: have you even met him yet? If the answer is no, you need to put the brakes on your new love, because chances are, things will be very different once you take the relationship into the real world.

I’ve seen too many friends get hurt this way. How do you prevent it? Just don’t fall in love until you meet. We’ve all heard the horror stories of online dating gone wrong. Isn’t it better to just be a little disappointed than deal with a major heartbreak? I think so too.

  1. What you see online isn’t the truth. Read his online dating profile. Does it list any flaws? No. People try to present themselves in the best light possible online. Half the time what they say is a lie. You have no way of knowing whether what they’ve posted is even true.
  2. You really don’t know him yet. Chatting online, via text or over the phone isn’t the same as having the person right in front of you. Even Skype isn’t good enough. You don’t know how to tell if they’re lying. You only know what they’re telling you. They could still lie in person, but at least you can check their body language for tells.
  3.  Just watch CatfishDo you really want to be catfished? No one really does, yet it happens every day. You fall in love with someone only to find out that person doesn’t even exist. Spend some time watching Catfish and you’ll quickly see why it pays to meet someone before falling for them.
  4. Actions speak louder than words. He sounds like such as gentleman, but would he really open doors for you, cook you dinner and hold you while watching chick flicks? You don’t really know. He could say anything to get you to fall for him. It’s how he acts in person that really matters.
  5. He could be with someone else. Cheaters don’t sign up to Ashley Madison exclusively. They’re everywhere. That guy you’re already dreaming of marrying could be married with six kids. It’s easy for him to lead you on when he never has to actually see you. Do you really want to be the other woman?
  6. Who knows if there really is any chemistry. You’ve hit it off so far, but is there any physical chemistry when you meet? He might be great at making you laugh on the phone, but his jokes might fall flat when you’re face to face. Not to mention those sexual vibes you were getting might go away the moment you see him.
  7. He could just be a scammer. Do you realize how many guys work hard to get women to fall for them online just to rip them off? They know exactly what to say and do to get you to do anything for them. One day he asks for a little financial help. You’re happy to help. Suddenly, you’re in debt or your identity gets stolen and he’s disappeared.
  8. Real relationships need more than a computer. A strictly online relationship isn’t going to work. You need physical contact. You need to be able to look in his eyes, hold his hand and talk to him. Yes, long distance can work, but only because you see each other sometimes. A real relationship takes more than a computer or phone.
  9. You build up too much of a fantasy. Since you never really see them, it’s easy to build them up as the perfect person. You envision this fantasy every time you talk. When you actually do meet them, they can’t live up to the fantasy you’ve created and you still end up heartbroken.
  10. You’ve never even seen his bad side. Everyone has a bad side. Maybe he’s a horrible slob or gets angry easy over little things. You’re not going to experience his bad side online. That happens in person. Do you really want to fall for someone when all you know are the good things about them?
  11. You may never actually meet. This might be great if you’re a complete shut-in. Otherwise, it’s not healthy. You’re wasting your life on a relationship with someone you don’t know. If the two of you really loved each other, why haven’t you met? When one or the other keeps putting off meeting, there’s a problem. Wait to completely fall until you’re able to see them in person. It’s not worth the heart ache or time if you may never meet them or be with them.

It’s kind of incredible to think that you can meet your soul mate online. Just be careful ladies. Make sure you have the whole picture or at least a real face to face interaction before you give him your heart. You never know who might be online.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.