When it comes to modern dating culture, it seems like there’s a constant battle of the sexes with regards to who should be doing what for whom. One thing is for sure — we ALL need to learn how to demonstrate a higher level of respect towards one another. These are some basic acts of kindness that everyone should be offering, no matter what side of the gender fence you’re on. It would make things a lot easier for everyone if we did these things:
The truth about intentions. Beating around the bush or playing games to bait interest is lame AF. We need to drop the mentality that hiding intentions and faking what we want creates mystery and suspense because it’s seriously immature and outdated. If we could all just learn to speak our truth and be unafraid to say “yes, I’m looking for love” or “I’m only looking for sex,” perhaps a lot less damaged hearts would exist.
Real and human breakup conversations. Who cares if you don’t “owe” someone an explanation? You should be a kind enough human to give someone the ending they deserve to hear, even if it makes you uncomfortable. In having those tough conversations and being accountable for making a gracious exit from someone’s life, you’re not only showing them human decency, you’re also further developing yourself as a mature grown-up.
Basic acts of kindness. When it comes to the desire for chivalry, it works both ways. The first person to the door should open it. The first person up should make the coffee. The courtship should be about two people who actually give a crap about each other instead of adhering to the expectations that a guy needs to step up to prove he’s a worthy gentleman. Simple kindness needs to exist on both sides for a solid relationship to lay its foundation.
Open communication. Whatever happened to the good old days of healthy conversation? Since the birth of smartphones and dating apps, we’ve all gotten a lot lazier at being real with each other. If something is bothering us, we should be telling the person directly instead of posting cryptic relationship quotes online or ghosting on texts to prove we’re pissed off or uninterested. In other words, a lot of us need to grow the hell up.
Listening. It seems like everyone these days is only out to please themselves and this leaves a lot of our personal sharing falling on deaf ears. If you go on a date, listen. Learn about them. Let them tell you their funniest and scariest stories without judgment or casting a wandering eye towards your phone. Be polite.
Keeping your word. Guys break promises and so do women. We’re all at fault. It’s always fun in the beginning stages of dating someone to make hopeful plans for the future, but what often ends up happening is that if things don’t work out, one person gets crushes and their ability to be as hopeful for their next encounter diminishes. It’s demoralizing. Instead, we could all stand to be a little more raw and honest when making promises. If you can’t live up to your word, it’s best to let things unfold rather than constantly getting someone’s hopes up by creating a false sense of future you don’t even want.
The art of apologizing. Why is it that no one ever feels accountable for how they’ve made someone feel in today’s dating society? Why does everyone feel so entitled to walk around shamelessly, creating false hope, using one another for personal gain or personal pleasures? As soon as a little conflict arises, we’re gone like the wind without so much as acknowledging that we’ve hurt someone. Is that seriously what we’ve come to? We were all taught at some point in our lives to apologize when we’ve hurt or upset someone, and it’s about time we re-adopt this practice.
Taking accountability for your actions. Dating these days is hard for everyone. We’re not each all alone out here, we’re actually all fighting this same disaster together. The problem, however, is that a large number of us aren’t even remotely on the same page about anything and so we have a bunch of people going through of a revolving door of one dating disaster after another. Why can’t we just all be more accountable? Accountable for someone’s feelings, for our failures to communicate effectively or for our downfalls of showing simple kindness. It’s really not that difficult.
Keeping good manners. It’s not just about minding our Ps and Qs, it’s about acknowledging and understanding that in this circus of dating, we’re meeting and getting to know other fellow human beings. Shocking! Remember when our elders told us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us? If we don’t like being lied to, led on, cheated on, being one of many options, used for our money, used for sex, used in any way, disrespected, called nasty names, left without a trace or a reason as to why, then it’s best that we practice what we preach.
Making a genuine effort. This generation sucks when it comes to making a real and romantic effort at forming relationships that are solid enough to withstand the test of time, which likely explains why more and more of us are still single well into our 30s and beyond. Love might not be the only fulfilling thing in life and a relationship may not be a necessity to live a happy life, but one thing is for sure — modern dating culture has turned into a vicious place. We could all stand to benefit in a big way if we all started being a little more considerate.