Just Because You’re Single Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be These 12 Things Too

Sometimes it feels like there’s some kind of single girl law that requires you to act the same way and believe the same things as everyone else. You’re supposed to be super strong and confident 24/7 and never, ever feel bad about yourself — but you’re definitely entitled to feel however you want to feel. In other words, being single doesn’t mean you have to be these things too:

  1. Happy. Sure, hopefully you’re content on a regular basis, but if you’re not jumping for joy every moment of every day, that’s totally okay. The picture of the single woman as the happiest person on the planet is not only false, it’s pretty unrealistic. You have your ups and downs like anyone else, coupled up or solo, and you can’t possibly be in a good mood all the time.
  2. Relieved. Some women might be relieved that they’re free and don’t have to deal with boyfriend drama. If you don’t feel that way, you’re not the only one, promise. You can be single and still wish you had someone by your side, living life with you and having fun. You don’t have to associate all kinds of negativity with being in a relationship.
  3. Angry. Feeling bitter over bad dates, feeling mad about guys who have hurt you — if you’re not into that, you’re actually so much better off. You don’t have to be super pissed off just because you’re in this situation. You can choose calm over anger any day of the week.
  4. Frustrated. It’s definitely no big secret that dating is super frustrating these days, and that things rarely work out as planned. Guys cancel, disappear, act like jerks, act like babies… it’s an endless list, unfortunately. That doesn’t mean you have to get frustrated. If your approach is way more chill and peaceful, there’s nothing wrong with you. This is just the way you’re dealing, and it’s actually so much healthier.
  5. Jealous. Nope, being jealous of your coupled up, in love friends isn’t necessarily part of The Single Girl Handbook. You may not feel any envy at all. You have a great life and you wouldn’t change it for anything.
  6. Scared. A lot of single women are terrified of being alone forever, of never meeting the right guy, of having to settle because they never end up liking anyone enough to truly go for it. You don’t have to be afraid of any of these things, and if you’re not, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re totally normal.
  7. Exhausted. Chatting with guys online, setting up dates, going on the actual date, trying to figure out if you like someone… Yeah, all those things are super exhausting, but you don’t have to feel so tired all the time because you don’t have to date all the time (or at all). You can enjoy your life, take dating breaks, and chill out.
  8. Irritated. You have two choices when it comes to how crazy annoying dating can be: you can get annoyed on a regular basis, or you can decide to not worry about it. If you tend to go with the latter attitude, that’s awesome. You can see the dating crap from a mile away and you rise above it every time.
  9. Proud. If you’re one of those single women who hold their heads up high every day and are super proud of who you are, that’s amazing. It’s also okay if you don’t always feel that way. It’s unrealistic to always think that being solo is the better option, especially when you’ve been in love and you miss that.
  10. Lonely. Not a super lonely single woman who’s desperate to meet a guy ASAP? Good for you. You don’t have to hate being alone. In fact, you have so much going for you that it makes total sense why you wouldn’t hate it.
  11. Hopeful. It’s okay if you run out of hope most days, thanks to your string of bad dates and almost relationships. It’s okay if you find it difficult to stay positive all the time and if you wonder if love is really possible. You don’t have to think love is all rainbows and butterflies and unicorns.
  12. Hopeless. On the other hand, just because you’re single and have been for a pretty long time doesn’t mean that you can’t ever dream of falling in love again. You can absolutely want that for yourself — and it can definitely happen. You don’t have to fall into the negative trap of thinking all guys are losers and you will never meet anyone amazing. With an attitude like that, you never will. But if you can turn your hopelessness into hope and stay the course, who knows what could happen?
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.