Just Because You Don’t Have Kids Doesn’t Mean You Should Be Disrespected

Something about childfree women makes people completely lose their mind. While their holier-than-thou reactions can be humorous at times, it’s still irritating. Your uterine choices are no one’s business but your own, yet some people still force their opinions on you like they’re door-to-door reproduction enthusiasts. You will need a strong backbone going through life as a childfree woman because your lifestyle will likely be attacked in one way or another. But, you should never tolerate any of it.

  1. Disrespect at work. Most professionals will have to deal with overly gossipy coworkers at some point in their lives. For reasons unknown, some of those lovely individuals may feel the need to uncover every sordid detail about your life. If you choose to reveal that you don’t want kids, they might be upset because your life choices are different from theirs and that confuses their feeble brains. If they start spewing their stereotypical, unenlightened BS at you, stop them immediately. It is incredibly inappropriate for coworkers to lambast you about your reproductive choices. Your sexual activity is none of their business and if they feel the need to make it so, report their idiotic, pervy asses to HR. Another thing: parents in the workplace do not deserve preferential treatment over you just because they have kids at home. Promotions, bonuses, vacation time, etc. should be based on the employee’s performance, not the number of kids he/she has. You should never be made to feel like your time is less valuable because you are childfree. Report any kind of discrimination when/if you can and feel free to look for other jobs.
  2. Judgmental family members. You do not “owe” your family grandchildren, nieces and nephews or cousins. You are not an incubator with legs and a Starbucks addiction. If you want to be childfree, that is your choice and your baby mad family needs to respect it. If they refuse to drop the subject and continue to harass you about your uterus every chance they get, you should consider distancing yourself from them for awhile. Make it clear that your family must respect you and all your childfree glory if they want to be involved in your life.
  3. Rude and intrusive questions. You should never put up with this in any kind of situation. If anyone butts into your life and ruthlessly questions your childfree stance, shut them the hell down. A person who feels the urge to find out every detail about what you plan to do with your genitals is a disgusting creep and should be treated as such. Don’t feel bad if it takes some swear-word-filled verbal force to shut them up. They are the ones who are being rude – not you.
  4. Nosy douchebags in the dating world. Dating can be very complicated when you have no desire to have kids of your own or date someone who already has kids. Some angry single parents take that stance as an insult to themselves and their precious offspring. Even if you clearly state your preferences on your dating profiles, you may still receive messages from every Bill and Gary on the site demanding to know why you are a terrible childfree demon. They will probably insist that their kids will be the ones to “change your mind.” Don’t feel obligated to respond to these idiots. That goes for the ones you meet in real life too. Shut up Dave.
  5. Clueless doctors. Sterilization is an option many childfree women want, but it can be incredibly difficult to find a doctor willing to perform a procedure. Some of these co-called medical “professionals” will tell you they feel uncomfortable sterilizing a woman who they deem too young or one who has no children. They’ll disregard all the reasons you give them and tell you that you’ll change your mind because all women are the same and therefore want the same thing: BABIES! If your doctor throws this crap at you, ask for a referral to another doctor or seek one out on your own. There are amazing doctors out there who will respect your wishes, but it might take a Lord of the Rings-style journey to get to them. Don’t give up. If sterilization is something you want, do your research and make it happen. When it’s done, feel free to send a big, “Screw you, I’m sterile” cake to your old doctor.
  6. Snooty parents. Good parents don’t give a crap what you do with your eggs. They’re too busy being good parents. It’s always the crappy parents that get their panties in a bunch when they find out that you don’t want kids. Unfortunately, these people are everywhere and have no problem expressing their superiority over you and your perpetually empty womb. Don’t you know that, as parents, they have soooooo much responsibility and they make soooooo many sacrifices and you wouldn’t understaaaaand? Tell pompous mommy and daddy and their minivan to shove it. You have responsibilities and obligations just like every other adult. The childfree don’t just sit around diddling themselves all day. Why do these nuts parents care so much anyway? It’s not like you walk into every room holding a sign that says, “FREEDOM BEFORE FERTILIZATION.” Or…do you?
Lauren Clark is a writer and news curator based in Denver, Colorado with bylines here on Bolde and at Inside.com. While she’s vehemently anti-social media, you can find her on LinkedIn.