Everyone talks about how girls don’t give “nice guys” enough chances, as if there’s some treasure trove of good guys out there crying ‘cause we won’t give them the time of day. Honestly? I call BS. The vast majority of guys I’ve encountered in life have convinced me that they’re pretty much all full of crap. Don’t believe me? Here’s my reasoning:
The player phenomenon is real.
Men may not like the label, but players are everywhere. They’re a trending topic for a reason. Players just want to use you and discard you, and chances are, everyone has encountered more than their fair share of them.
Every single woman has more terrible guy stories than good ones.
If you don’t believe me, ask around at the next party you’re at. For every tale of true love I’ve heard from my friends, I can think of 10 stories they have about men who were crappy to them. Terrible guy stories exist on a scale that ranges from “dumped me by posting an Instagram of him making out with someone else” to “stalked me for six months.” That should tell you something.
Guys feel entitled.
I’ve had so many men in dating scenarios act like I’m obligated to give them time, attention, and physical encounters just because they opened a door for me. Women are not slot machines that you insert nice gestures into in order to earn sex. More and more, that’s how guys are treating us.
Hook-up culture is primed for their benefit.
If a girl sleeps with a few dudes, she’s promiscuous. If a guy does it? He’s a hero. This is a tale as old as time. With the rise of hook-up culture, this stigma isn’t working out in our favor. Men are still praised for tapping that, and women are still shamed for it. So they’re automatically coming out the winners in this scenario.
Men don’t do emotions well.
They’re just not socialized to be able to deal with feelings the way women are. Boys are shamed for showing emotions, so they grow up to become men who can’t deal with them, which makes them treat us like emotional punching bags.
They think of us as disposable.
That thing about hooking up applies here, too. If they don’t’ get what they want from us, they feel they can just bounce on to the next one and get it there. Girls are individuals, but they don’t see us that way.
Not enough of them know what “feminist” means.
Seriously, it just means treating everyone with equal respect. That means that dudes should learn to treat the women in their lives like a human person. The fact that so many guys see feminism as threatening to their masculinity says a lot about how they view us as less-than.
They want us to be their everything, but give us as little as possible in return.
I can count on one hand the number of relationships I’ve witnessed where there is an equal give and take. Guys want us to shoulder their burdens, keep their house clean, and feed them dinner, all while we’re taking care of our own stuff. They need to give just as much as they take, but they’re mostly incapable of doing so. I don’t know about you, but for me? It’s getting really, really old.
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