Are You Just Single Or Single AF? 10 Questions To Ask Yourself

When you’re single, life can be a blast. You’re out there dating, meeting new people, and genuinely just enjoying your freedom. When you’re single AF, however, life can be a drag. You feel overwhelmingly lonely and worry that’s all you’ll ever be. So how can you tell if you’re simply single or if you’ve crossed over into single AF territory? Ask yourself these questions:

  1. When was the last time you went on a date? A week ago? A month ago? Has it been over a year? Can you even remember the last date you went on? If you’re actively or regularly dating then you’re simply single, but if it’s been ages since your last male prospect then you can officially consider yourself single AF.
  2. Are you currently talking to any men? You may not have a boyfriend, but if you have a “thing” with a guy friend or casual acquaintance then you’re just plain old single. You don’t know where your relationship is headed or even if you really have one, but even a text-based relationship is something. You’re not completely alone, and that’s what matters.
  3. Do you still go out looking for guys? If you’re putting yourself out there regularly in the hopes of meeting a great guy by going out to the bars and having girls’ nights out, you’re on the right track. You’re making your love life a priority but you still have a life outside of it. If you’re single AF then you’ve pretty much stopped trying to find love altogether because you may not even believe it exists anymore. You can’t just expect love to land on your doorstep during your next Netflix binge — you have to try a little bit.
  4. Are you just available or downright desperate? Single girls are available. They’re open to finding love in their lives but it’ll have to be with the right guy because they don’t plan on settling. Single AF women aren’t looking for the right guy, they’re looking for ANY guy. They’ve been alone for so long that pretty much any guy will do. They’re willing to settle for just “good enough” because when you’re single AF, beggars can’t be choosers.
  5. Have you contemplated giving up on love? The dating life might suck sometimes, but single girls know love is out there. On the other hand, single AF women aren’t sure that everyone gets to find love. They’ve either already given up on the idea of “The One” or they’re at least debating it because life alone can feel utterly permanent.
  6. How many cats do you own? In all honesty, are you filling the emotional void in your life with pets? If you’re just looking for anything to care for then you may just be single AF. It’s one thing to want an animal companion, but it’s another to give yourself an entire cat family because you’re afraid you’ll never have a human family of your own. Sorry, but that makes you single AF.
  7. Have all your friends found love? Single ladies have single friends. Girls who are single AF have no single friends left — their girlfriends have all found love and they’ve been the lonely bridesmaids as every other girl gets walked down the aisle. Their friends have all found their Prince Charmings and are living their happily ever afters. They’ve seen enough fairytales to know that their love life is nothing but tragedy.
  8. Do you have a wing woman? Single girls go out in packs; single AF women are nothing but alone. They’re too scared to even try to find love anymore that they won’t enlist the help of their friends. Single girls aren’t afraid of wanting to find love or asking for help. Single AF women feel pathetic about their solo status so they refuse to draw any more attention to their singlehood, but it’s definitely not helping that status change…
  9. How many nights a week do you spend alone? If you’re single, then you still have an active social life, but single AF women are practically shut-ins. Single women still know how to go out and have fun. They make time to see their friends, family, and have a life — even if their love life is lacking. Single AF women are the true forever alone because for seven out of seven nights a week, they’re all by their lonesome.
  10. How long ago was your last real relationship? When was the last time you had a real boyfriend? When was the last time a guy actually meant something to you? If you’re single AF, that answer is easy—never. You’ve never found love and that’s why you’re so willing to stay single — because you don’t know the comparison. Single girls still want love with all their heart, but what makes a true single AF girl is a girl who doesn’t even believe in the beauty of love.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.