Once upon a time, I believed that every girl would undoubtedly get her happily ever after, including me. I spent years searching for my own Mr. Right, only to be left disappointed, disillusioned and single AF. Eventually, I stopped believing in “The One” altogether… and that’s exactly what helped me find him.
- I realized I didn’t need true love to survive. The worst part of believing in true love is the fear you’ll never find it. I almost let that fear eat me alive, but eventually I was sick of letting my lack of a love life get me down. I thought the worst fate in life would be to never find true love, but one day I woke up and I realized that even if I never found love, my life would go on. It was like a weight lifted from my shoulders.
- I didn’t worry about the future anymore. That was how I started living in the present. I was so worried about who I’d end up with that I wasn’t enjoying where I was. I thought my life was all about the end game, but I finally realized that it’s about the journey. I stopped planning my entire future, and that’s how I started living my life. Funny enough, the men around me definitely noticed.
- I still wanted a guy but I didn’t need one. That’s what men really want — to be wanted, not needed. Once I stopped believing in true love, I realized that I didn’t actually need a guy to survive. I was fine all on my own and as soon as I accepted that, I opened my heart to true love. I started wanting a companion, not needing a hero to save me from the single life.
- I found true independence. For once, my life started to be about me. I was no longer a half looking for someone else to make me whole. I became whole on my own, and that felt really good. I wasn’t weak and needy anymore, I was finally strong. In turn, I found out that strength made me attractive because nothing is sexier than a woman who’s not afraid to be on her own.
- I realized that you don’t always get what you deserve. We all deserve true love. We all deserve a guy who’s going to treat us right but that doesn’t mean we’ll get it. I wasn’t going to settle for someone that was any less, but once I accepted that true love wasn’t a guarantee, I didn’t need to obsess over finding it anymore.
- I found a way to be happy even though I was single. I used to think that true love would be the thing to make me happy. I kept prolonging my own happiness by making it a reward I’d get once I achieved my goal of finding a guy, but finally I decided to stop putting it off. I stopped believing in true love and I became my own source of happiness. I loved my life, and that happiness is the thing that brought me to Mr. Right because no one is attracted to negativity.
- I realized there was more to life than a relationship. My life had more meaning that the mission to land a boyfriend. My love life used to be my number one priority and that made me ignore the rest of my life. It was all about the men I dated and nothing about me. Once I stopped believing in love, I realized that I wanted to be more than just the girl standing next to some guy, and the man I met loved that about me.
- I discovered who I really am. I used to let myself be defined by my relationships (or lack thereof), but not anymore. When I believed in true love, I focused all my attention on who the man I’d marry would be. Once I stopped believing, though, I started focusing on who I am and who *I* want to be. I was finally able to get in touch with myself, it just took letting go of my true love obsession to do it.
- I didn’t need someone else to love me because I loved myself. That was the problem before. I was looking for love in all the wrong places when where I really should have been looking was from within. I needed to love myself first before I could truly allow anyone else to love me. I needed to realize that I was worthy of love because I loved myself. Without that confidence, true love would have never come for me.
- I stopped being afraid of the unknown. When I believed in true love, my greatest fear was that I’d never find it. When I stopped believing I started to accept that I couldn’t control the unknown. If I couldn’t control it, why try? I accepted the fact that I might end up alone, and once I did that I was no longer afraid. Regardless of if I truly were forever alone, my life would always have meaning.
- I stopped obsessing over finding “The One.” I was finally free to just enjoy my life. I was no longer on a wild goose chase. Going out was no longer marked by the mission to find a man. I wasn’t searching anymore. I was ready to stop looking and when I did, when the pressure was finally off, that’s when love finally found me.
