Just Because You’ve Never Been Dumped Doesn’t Mean You’re Good At Relationships

It’s a common misconception that the dumpee in the relationship is the one that needs fixing — why would their partner have broken up with them? The truth is, though, just because you’re the one going around breaking hearts doesn’t mean that you’re the better catch in all of your relationships.

  1. It takes two to break a relationship. In every relationship, it takes two people to mess it up, even if only one of the wants to end things. Just because you’re the one that cut the cord doesn’t mean your partner wasn’t thinking about ending it, too.
  2. Breaking up is hard to do. If the relationship is going badly, both parties know it. There’s a good chance that your partner wasn’t all that sure about you either, but the difference is that only one of you took the leap to end it.
  3. Unhappiness doesn’t always lead to a breakup. People stay in unhappy relationships all the time in the hopes that one day it’ll get back to the way it was when you were both happy. The difference between you and the person you dumped is that they still had hope.
  4. You’re not perfect. You played a role in the breakup, even if you’re the one who wanted out. Thinking that you were the best thing that ever happened to your partner and they’re nothing but a drab on your life is self-centered, arrogant and just not true, or else you would never have dated them in the first place.
  5. You loved less. When you dump a person because the relationship sucks, it’s clear that you were less invested than they were. Sure, you know it’s not working out but they did too. They just loved you enough to keep trying.
  6. You might just be scared. If every time a relationship starts to get a bit rocky, you dump them and run for the hills, that’s more of a reflection on you than it is on them. Your issues with commitment could be the culprit, not the fact that you always deserve better than the last guy you were with.
  7. You’re never satisfied. It’s one thing to want the love of your life and not waste any of your precious time with anyone you know is wrong for you, but if you’ve dumped every person you’ve ever been with because of small issues, there’s a good chance you’re a grass is greener type person.
  8. It’s easier for you to break a heart. Some people have a hard time breaking up with their partners because they don’t want to hurt them, which makes sense. But you seem to do it to everyone you’ve ever been with with no shame because you want to find your perfect partner. It doesn’t make you a bad person, just someone who finds it easier to hurt people.
  9. You knew it wasn’t right but went ahead with it anyway. There’s a good chance you’ve known that the relationship wasn’t working out since the early stages but kept the relationship going for the sake of being with someone out of loneliness or boredom. When you use someone as a placeholder, that shows more of a problem in you than it does the person you’re dating.
  10. You’re waiting for a fantasy. Maybe you’re one of those people that thinks anything imperfect isn’t worth your time. The problem with that is nothing is perfect, and if you’re going around breaking every one’s heart to find it, you’re out of touch with reality.
  11. You’ll never know what it feels like. If you’ve never been dumped, you’ll never know what it feels like to be cut off from someone you care about. This is a problem because you’ll always think that no matter what you do to a person, they’ll be lucky to have you, leaving you to be as careless as you want.
  12. It doesn’t make you awful. This isn’t a ‘rag on the dumpers’ type article, because breaking up with someone (or everyone you’ve ever dated) doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. It does, however, indicate some problems that you have with relationships, thus proving you’re not always the better catch.
Angelica Bottaro has a bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Trent University and an Advanced Diploma in Journalism from Centennial College. She began her career as a freelance writer in 2014, racking up bylines in The Good Men Project, MakeWell, LymeTime, YouQueen, and more. She eventually shifted her focus and began writing about mental health, nutrition, and chronic disease for VeryWell Health.

You can follow her on Facebook or check out her website at AngelicaBottaro.ca. She also posts on Instagram @a.ct._b and Twitter @angiiebee.