Keep Your Fancy Dates — I Want Someone Who Knows How To Keep It Simple

Dating comes with some ridiculous expectations these days — expensive dinners that really taste no better than the cheaper alternative across the road, dressing to the nines in an outfit and shoes that can’t be worn for more than an hour at a time without serious circulation problems, uncomfortable conversation in an over-crowded room while you’re sat at a table in a pokey little corner… However, after having been around the dating block more than a few times, I’ve come to the conclusion that fancy isn’t always better. Here’s why I prefer simplicity these days:

  1. I Want To See How Big Your Heart Is, Not Your Wallet. I don’t know how or when it happened, but the size of a guy’s wallet has become a significant factor for many women in deciding whether or not he’s worthy of pursuing. Obviously that’s not the case across the board, and it certainly isn’t with me. I genuinely have an interest in how much your heart holds, not your wallet.
  2. I Want A Private Conversation, Not A Screaming Match In A Crowd. I’m a pretty private person by nature. I want to engage in an easy, intimate conversation, not scream over loud music or rowdy crowds just to hear and be heard by my date. Of course there’s always going to be a certain level of noise to contend with, but if I have to start relying on hand signals and sign language to get my words across, I’m definitely not going to be happy.
  3. High Maintenance Dates = Unrealistic Expectations. If our dates require perfectly manicured nails and makeup every time we see each other, I can promise you that at some point you’ll roll over in the morning and be sorely disappointed by what’s laying next to you. Why not go for a casual hangout without all the primping and preening? Trust me, you’ll thank me when that morning comes.
  4. I’m Okay With Practical. I have no need for someone to go completely out of their way for me all the time. You have work early the next morning so you can’t be out late? That’s okay. You have a family get-together this weekend and won’t have time to catch up? We can make plans another time. Yes, I want to spend time with you, but I don’t want you to put your whole life on hold to do that. Being realistic and practical is okay.
  5. I Want You To Get To Know Me Inside My Comfort Zone. I’m a creature of comfort and I like my safe place and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I like to get dressed up and go out sometimes, but if you really want to get to know me on an intimate and personal level, the best place to do that is in my comfort zone. This way, you see me for who I really am. That’s not to say I won’t push myself out of my comfort zone sometimes, but that when I’m in it, I’m the truest and most relaxed version of myself.
  6. Romance Should Be About You And Me, Not The Setting. I want to be romanced by you, not the location. Yes, a romantic, candlelit restaurant may be a nice backdrop, but it certainly isn’t going to make or break the night. Romance doesn’t have to come from materialistic items or places. Sitting on a beach with the right person can be just as romantic as any fancy location.
  7. I’d Rather Not Feel Guilty About The Second Mortgage You Had To Take Out To Afford Our Night Out. Fancy usually comes with a price tag. I’d rather not feel as though an outing with me is a financial burden on you. Not only is that a serious mood killer, it would make me question just how well you actually know me. Romance doesn’t have to have big dollar signs attached to it for it to make an impact. Hold my hand as we walk through the park, surprise me with a homemade lunch at desk at work, sing to me as we drive even if you have no clue what half the words are. Those are the moments that I’ll remember and cherish.
  8. Please Take The Time To Listen To What I Want. There’s a fine line between giving someone what they want and giving someone what you think they want. Sometimes, despite the best of intentions, the two get mixed. Communication is a two-way street. If you take the time to listen to me then I’ll do the same in return. Even two people from very different worlds can find common ground once the lines of communication are opened.
  9. Impress Me With Your Thoughtfulness, Not Your Booking Skills. Anybody can book a table at a restaurant, and while I’m certainly not ungrateful that you did, I would’ve been happy sitting on a park bench with you, watching the stars come out after sunset. I don’t want you to feel as though you have to organize our nights to such an extreme. A night of our favorite takeout and a movie can mean just as much, if not more.
  10. I Want To Create The Experience With You. Surprises are nice, but collaboration can be fun too. Picking somewhere to go on a date is very hit and miss. Wouldn’t it be more fun if we both have a say in where we go and what we do? I’m not saying it has to happen every time — there’s fun and romance in being surprised too — but I’d occasionally like to be part of the process.
  11. Take A Back Seat And Let Me Take The Lead Every Now And Then. Guys deserve to be “wined and dined” too. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take the lead on every date. I’m perfectly capable of initiating a date and giving you a night to remember. It may not be the fanciest or the most elaborate date, but it will be creative and memorable.
Maggie is a freelance writer based in Perth, Western Australia. When she isn't swigging wine straight from the bottle, she is busy procrastinating on her housework. Currently working on her first novel, she is also the creator of The Reverse Housewife and regular contributor to Hub Garden.