Here’s Why I Keep My Relationship With My Boyfriend OFF Social Media

One of the worst parts of social media is the incessant barrage of couples bragging about their so-called perfect relationships. Ugh, please stop. I have a boyfriend, but there’s one thing I’ve insisted on since we started dating: we’ll never discuss/complain/brag about our relationship online. Here’s why:

  1. I want to focus on strengthening our relationship, not making it seem perfect. When you’re constantly on social media, you’re wasting time you could be spending with your significant other. I want as many memories with my boyfriend as possible because I know that eventually, our youth is going to run out. Our relationship is my top priority, not posting pictures of us all the time for everyone to view and comment on.
  2. People will believe what they want to believe (and I don’t care either way). Although I enjoy social media, it’s too easy to get obsessed with it. People are becoming so enthralled with their profiles, followers and likes that they forget to enjoy the present moment. At the end of the day, your life is your life, and the pictures and videos you post are only snippets of your day-to-day activities. If people think my relationship is on the rocks, that’s fine because I know it’s blossoming into something beautiful.
  3. I’d rather keep our #RelationshipGoals a secret. I’m proud of what we have, and I don’t need to share it with the world because I value our intimacy and connection. I could work real hard to make other people envious of what we have, but what’s the point in that? I know we’re #RelationshipGoals; that’s good enough for me.
  4. It’s nice to have some mystery in a relationship. If everyone knew our business during every hour of every day, I would feel so trapped by other people’s opinions of us. It’s nice to not share personal moments all the time because then only you and your significant other share that memory and it’s special. Once you post a picture or a video, it’s no longer a secret. Now everyone will know, and what’s the fun in that?
  5. I don’t need anyone’s approval. I struggled with low self-esteem for way too long to let it creep up on me again. Now that I’m in a mature, long-term relationship, I’ve realized that my life is what I make it, and other people’s opinions are honestly irrelevant. If somebody wants to judge our relationship, have at it. I know what we have is special — other people don’t have to agree for it to be true.
  6. The last thing I need is drama. I cannot stand drama and I hate getting into confrontations with other people, especially via social media. People online love to say things they would never say in person, which is why I keep my social media use to a minimum. It’s simply not worth the hassle. I keep my circle small for a reason. You never truly know what people’s real intentions are.
  7. Social media shouldn’t be used to make other people jealous. This may be an unpopular opinion, but why live to make others feel bad about themselves? This may not be people’s intentions, but in the end, that’s what they’re doing by posting almost too perfect pictures with overly braggy captions. If you’re in a relationship, great, but don’t use that to make other people feel bad about being single.
  8. I’m secure enough in my relationship. It makes posting about it on social media unappealing. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. I know my boyfriend and I are stable. It’s fun to share our memories with other people, but I don’t need to in order to feel good about what we have. Honestly, the more frequently someone posts about their relationship on social media, the more suspicious I become about how genuinely happy they are.
  9. Likes and followers don’t mean anything. They’re artificial self-esteem. You may get embarrassed when a photo you post doesn’t get a lot of likes, but at the end of the day, those likes are meaningless. The people you interact with in real life are way more important than the people you talk to online.
  10. I want to live in the moment. It’s what makes life worth living. I enjoy taking pictures and capturing moments, but I want to be involved enough to actually remember those memories. If I’m constantly glued to my phone, I forget to enjoy the time I’m spending with my boyfriend. Social media should be an every once in a while thing, not an every second of the day activity.
Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia