Ladies, Keep Your Standards High — Don’t Settle Just Because It Seems Like a Desert Out There

Lowering your standards is never worth it – never. You may change course or amend your list of dealbreakers, but you don’t have to settle just to find love. Unless you expect far more from your romantic partners than you plan on giving, you’re on the right path. Here’s why you should keep your expectations high:

  1. You’re at the top of your game. You’re nearing your peak and still getting better. You’ve worked hard to get where you are — you’ve learned, grown, and evolved and you’re not showing any signs of stopping anytime soon. You have your act together and that’s something to be proud of. You don’t need to climb down from your top spot just because no one else can hang.
  2. If someone wants you, they can learn how to climb. Why not? Is it so unreasonable to expect other people to work hard on their lives and themselves? You want to be with someone who’s ambitious and is focused on constantly bettering themselves in every facet of life. Again, why should you have to climb down to meet someone who’s unwilling to put in the effort to join you at the top?
  3. You’ll never be happy if you lower your standards. You may make concessions and compromises, which is natural and a vital part of every healthy relationship (at least to a point). Actually lowering your overall standards, however, practically dooms you to unhappiness. This is especially true if you’ve always known what you want. Settling for less feels wrong, like you’re being cheated out of what you know you deserve. Could you be happy with that?
  4. It’s not fair to the person you end up dating. You’ll always compare them to something or someone better and wish for more. Even if you aren’t obvious about it, the feeling is there — the disappointment, the wistfulness. No one deserves to live beneath a cloud like that, especially since there’s likely nothing wrong with the person you lower your standards to date — they’re simply not your match, and you can’t force it.
  5. If you respect your standards, others will too. They might not agree and they might not fit your standards, but they’ll respect that you have them – provided that you’re respectful too, of course. You can’t act superior or snobby like you’re above everyone else and your poop doesn’t stink – because you’re not and it does.
  6. Your self-respect is worth more than a relationship. Never settle just to avoid loneliness. It’s not fair to either of you. Plus, in addition to feeling bad about lowering your standards in the first place, you won’t respect yourself anymore. That starts a vicious cycle in and of itself because when you don’t respect yourself, no one else will either.
  7. Staying single isn’t the worst thing in the world. Honestly, if you can’t find someone who hits all the right buttons to make you happy, wouldn’t you be happier on your own? Being single isn’t this horrible brand. It’s not like you’re labeled a spinster these days.
  8. You can’t be true to someone else if you’re not true to yourself. Your mind and heart will always be somewhere else. You started the relationship off with a lie in a way, or at least some dishonesty. That will affect your relationship. Over time, it will erode into nothing.
  9. You’ll always wonder if you did yourself a disservice. The answer is probably “yes.” Again, compromises and concessions are fine – they’re necessary in any relationship, honestly. Lowering your standards completely is something altogether different. You’ll spend so much time wondering if this is really what you want and if you can really be happy.
  10. You deserve the best — fight for it. Plainly and simply, you deserve to meet someone incredible and amazing and wonderful who fulfills your standards. The important thing is to make sure your standards aren’t unrealistic. For example, wanting to meet someone with a good job is different from specifically wanting to meet someone rich. As long as you keep up faith that what you want is out there, you’ll eventually find it.
west virginia native, new hampshire transplant, parisian in the depths of my unimpressed soul. owner of an impressive resting bitch face. writer and reader. fluent in sarcasm and snark. lover of lower case and the oxford comma.