How To Keep Yourself From Turning Into A Bitter Single Girl

Even though it’s normal these days to stay single for a long period of time, it’s still pretty easy to hate that you’re not in a relationship. There’s literally nothing wrong with rolling solo and you know that you should celebrate how strong and amazing you are, but what if a switch has flipped and suddenly you find yourself acting super bitter and negative about your solo status? If that’s happening to you, do these 9 things:

  1. Stop swapping bad date stories with your single girlfriends. Of course it’s comforting to know that your friends are going through the same things that you are and that they also have weird dates that seem like something out of a TV show. But when you’re constantly dwelling on negative stuff, you’re going to feel pretty terrible, and before you know it, you’re down about your dating life. And that’s not going to help. If you can shrug crappy dates off and move on, you’ll be a lot better off.
  2. Simplify your dating life. Are you using ten different dating apps? Are you also trying everything under the sun to meet guys, from going to trivia nights at bars to speed dating to asking everyone that you know to set you up? It’s totally normal to want to do everything within your power to find love. If you’re feeling miserable these days, though, it’s possible that you’re getting super overwhelmed. Simplify your dating life. Use one dating app… and that’s it. You have a busy enough life and enough to worry about, right?
  3. Make a big life change. Sure, you might not have a boyfriend, and finding love is one of your major goals. There must be something else that’s been on your radar for a while. Maybe you’ve always wanted to change careers but were too afraid, or you want to move closer to your best friend or start a side hustle. Why not do that now? Making a big life change will give you a newfound appreciation for the amazing things that you can do and will give you something to focus on besides that dull date you went on last night.
  4. Embrace the fact that you’re super single. Instead of wishing that you had someone by your side to watch Netflix with, why not focus on the fact that you can watch literally anything that you want, when you want to? Instead of wanting to cook dinner with a partner every night of the week, why not make your solo cooking sessions more fun? You can approach basically any situation with a positive or negative attitude. You might as well be glad that you can do certain things in your single life that coupled up girls can’t.
  5. Tell yourself that you’re absolutely going to find love. This is probably the last thing that you want to tell yourself when you feel like giving up on dating altogether. That’s exactly why it works. When you’re going on date after date, all you have is the hope that you’ll find love, so why not believe it? Just because you’re not in a relationship right this minute doesn’t mean that you won’t meet an amazing guy who will be everything that you’ve been looking for.
  6. Let fate do the work for a few months. It’s easy to think that the only way to find love is through a dating app or online. While tons of couples are meeting that way, people are still coupling up in real life, too. Take a break sometimes and see if you end up meeting any great guys in your daily life. You just might meet the coolest person ever at your friend’s party next month. And even if you don’t, believing that it’s still possible to meet someone this way will cheer you up a bit.
  7. Get smart about your dealbreakers. Forget the people who say that you’re way too picky if you have red flags and dealbreakers on the brain. It’s totally legit to not want to date an unemployed guy or someone who still lives at home or doesn’t have a great work ethic. Get smart and serious about your dealbreakers and only date guys who fit what you’re looking for. You’ll stop wasting time and start dating guys that you actually feel will fit into your life.
  8. Stop worrying about why you’re single. Even if you have super high self-esteem and truly love yourself, which of course you should, it’s still easy to wonder why you’re still single. Are you doing something wrong on first dates that means they never turn into second ones? Are you turning guys off? Stop all that wondering and worrying. It’s just the way that things are and there’s no reason to overthink it.
  9. Find joy in the little things. Sounds cheesy AF. But it’s super helpful. You might not have found love yet, but you’ve still got an awesome life. From your morning cup of hot coffee to the new book that your fave author just put out, there are a lot of things to get excited and happy about. Focus on those and it’ll be seriously life-changing.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.