The Key To A Lasting Relationship? Actually Being Ready For One

You’ve probably dated your share of people who claim they want something real but who run scared when they actually get it. It sucks but it feels unavoidable. You’re looking for a long-term relationship, so who would be your ideal partner? Perhaps unsurprisingly, it’s someone who’s actually ready for commitment.

Science is kinda stating the obvious here. Researchers at Purdue University recently published research in Social Psychological and Personality Science which revealed that one of the largest predictors of relationship longevity is the individual’s readiness to commit. I hate to say this but, um, duh?

It’s not just about actually being ready, you have to feel ready. Obviously you should have your act together if you’re going to embark on a serious relationship. You should be on top of your finances, a stable career, not a lot of drama happening, etc. However, as the study showed, it’s also important to feel ready to commit. In other words, it’s important not to worry about what you might be missing out on when you’re no longer playing the field.

The more ready you are, the more you put into your relationships. As Chris Agnew, Professor of Psychological Sciences and Vice President for Research at Purdue University, explained, “Feeling ready leads to better relational outcomes and well-being. When a person feels more ready, this tends to amplify the effect of psychological commitment on relationship maintenance and stability.” Makes sense.

The same works in reverse too. It probably goes without saying that those who are less psychologically ready for a committed relationship are more likely to do things to screw it up, whether that’s cheating, not putting in effort, or any other number of bad relationship habits. It’s like they’re subconsciously sabotaging things because they can’t handle it.

Obviously there’s more to a happy relationship than being ready for one. However, being willing and prepared to commit does mean you’re 25% more likely to stay together than couples who aren’t so sure. That being said, there’s no accounting for other issues that come between people, from general incompatibility to family drama and more.

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