How To Kill A Relationship Before It Even Starts

How To Kill A Relationship Before It Even Starts

New relationships are fragile, and while there’s no point in being something you’re not, you should still tone down the crazy unless you want to ruin things before they even get started. These behaviors are guaranteed to make him run a mile:

  1. Accuse him of cheating.If you’ve only been on a couple dates, you’re probably not in an exclusive relationship. That means he might still be going on dates with other girls, and he doesn’t consider that cheating. And neither should you. If you reveal your jealous streak too soon, most guys will vanish without a trace. No one wants to deal with that.
  2. Add his friends to social media before you even meet them.As a general rule, you probably shouldn’t friend anyone you’ve never met. It’s just plain creepy, and if his friends think you’re weird before they even meet you, he’s going to think twice about dating you.
  3. Give him ultimatums.When you first start dating, you have no right to tell a guy what to do. In his mind, his freedom is a million times more important than making a girl he barely knows happy, and frankly, that’s how it should be. If he’s not behaving how you’d like the guy you’re dating to behave, then don’t date him. But don’t try to manipulate him into being who you want, because it won’t work.
  4. Criticize him.Nagging him about his haircut, his fashion sense, and his career ambition (or lack there of) before you’re officially a couple is a sure fire way to guarantee you’ll never be a couple. Unless he’s looking for a girlfriend who will mother him— then you’re a shoe in.
  5. Be too available.Just because you don’t answer all his texts immediately and agree to every spontaneous hang out he suggests, doesn’t mean you’re playing games. But if you’re free (or you make yourself free) for him every time he asks, he’s going to think you have no life. Don’t be surprised if he loses interest.
  6. Play too hard to get.There’s a perfect balance to be found between being too available and not available enough. If you always turn him down when he asks you out, and you never make an effort to hang out with him, he’s going to think you aren’t interested. And can you really blame him?
  7. Overanalyze everything.Not only will you drive yourself crazy, but you’ll drive him crazy if you look for some hidden meaning behind everything he says and does. If you absolutely must analyze, do it with your friends, because ‘neurotic’ probably isn’t on most guys list of turns ons.
  8. Try to have “the talk” way too soon.It’s perfectly normal to not want to waste your time with a guy who doesn’t want the same things as you, but that’s why you don’t try to force a commitment too early on. Keep your options open in the beginning so you don’t feel pressure to have the exclusivity talk too soon, and end up scaring him away.
  9. Make assumptions about your future together.Just because you’ve been on three dates doesn’t mean you have a guaranteed plus one to your cousin’s wedding four months from now. Keep your expectations in check, because ghosting happens when you least expect it, and that’s probably what he’ll do to you if you start naming your future children during happy hour.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, Complex.ca and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo