The Kind Of Fights You Have Determine The Kind Of Relationship You Have

The Kind Of Fights You Have Determine The Kind Of Relationship You Have ©iStock/DragonImages

Every couple fights — even the ones that say they don’t actually do. It’s impossible for two people to be together for long enough and totally agree on everything. However, not all fights are created equal, and the way you argue says a lot about your relationship as a whole.

1. The “stop nagging me” fight

There are going to be days when everything your partner says or does annoys the hell out of you for some unknown reason. Whether he’s telling you what to do, giving unsolicited suggestions or advice or just constantly insisting on what needs to be done. This can show how much your partner cares about you, or that they’re becoming a bit of a control freak.

2. The “calm down” fight

Saying things like “calm down” or “chill out” is usually something people don’t like to hear, and they’ll only make the fight worse, even if that wasn’t the intention. It usually happens when one partner is more mad or passionate about the topic than the other. This can show how two people balance each other, or how ill-matched you are as a whole.

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4. The “who is she/he?” fight

This is a big one because it has to do with a (perceived) threat to the relationship. Fighting over the interactions and relationships between partners and other people is always a debate over who’s right and who’s wrong. Simply put, some are more jealous than others, even when there’s no real threat at hand. This can show how jealousy can ruin a relationship, or how much fear there is in losing each other.

5. The “you’re lying to me” fight

Having trust issues in a relationship is basically guaranteeing it’ll fail. Constantly fighting about who’s lying doesn’t really have an upside. Accusing someone of being untruthful is wearing, not only on the person on the receiving end, but on the person who’s so sure they’re being done wrong. This can show how important trust is in a relationship, or how the absence of it will be the end of things between you.

6. The “you don’t get me” fight

The classic fight of just not seeing eye to eye. The ability to understand and accept each other’s actions and motives is so important when building a good foundation. Not trusting each other can have an effect on the intentions you truly have for one another. This can either show how much you still need to learn about each other, or how much you just don’t mesh.

7. The “you’re being nuts” fight

Feeling and/or acting nuts in a relationship is inevitable at times. However, throwing these words in someone’s face will only blow things out of proportion and make the fight way worse. Calling a partner nuts distracts the issue at hand — if someone’s reacting in a particular way, the other party should examine their own behavior to figure out why this is the case. This can show how well you’re able to empathize with one another, or whether you’re trying to avoid what’s really going on.

8. The “you don’t love me enough” fight

Partners who don’t believe the other person loves them enough are either looking for attention or just not feeling sincere love. It can be problem when trying to figure out each other’s intentions for the relationship. This can either show how priorities need to be adjusted, or that expectations need to be adjusted to be more realistic.

9. The “can you clean the dishes for once” fight

Give and take is crucial for partners to practice. If one is constantly and obviously doing way more for the other, it will come back to bite them. Couples often struggle with balance and creating equal sacrifices, which can create serious resentment. This can either show how capable you are of being part of an equal partnership or show how lazy you really are.

10. The “nothing” fight

Fighting over literally nothing that makes any difference in the world happens a lot, though these are more like arguments and don’t usually last too long. When one or both partners decide to raise hell over the dumbest crap, it’s usually because one of you are tired or otherwise in a bad mood and it usually doesn’t have anything to do with the other person. If every fight is actually a nothing fight, than you’re doing something right. If the fights are bigger, last longer and are more damaging, it’s time to evaluate the relationship.

Bolde has been a source of dating and relationship advice for single women around the world since 2014. We combine scientific data, experiential wisdom, and personal anecdotes to provide help and encouragement to those frustrated by the journey to find love. Follow us on Instagram @bolde_media or on Facebook @BoldeMedia