Labels We Put On Others That Are Actually Pretty Derogatory

Labels We Put On Others That Are Actually Pretty Derogatory

In our quest to understand and categorize the people around us, we’ve come up with countless labels. We usually think these labels are harmless or even kind, but some can be unintentionally derogatory, reducing individuals to stereotypes or undermining their abilities. Here’s a deep dive into 15 “kind” labels that might not be as flattering as they seem, and why we should think twice before using them.

1. She’s Such A Drama Queen

Labeling someone as a “drama queen” might seem harmless, even playful, when referring to their expressive nature. It paints a picture of someone who lives life with flair and emotion, often making situations more lively or entertaining. Yet, this label can also be deeply dismissive, suggesting that their feelings are excessive or unwarranted. It can imply that their emotions are exaggerated for effect rather than genuine, which is not only patronizing but also invalidating.

Moreover, being called a “drama queen” can be isolating, leaving the person feeling misunderstood or judged for their emotional expression. It places them in a box where their reactions are seen as over-the-top rather than legitimate responses to their experiences. Too Ambitious highlights how women are disproportionately affected by this term, pointing out that it is frequently used to dismiss their emotional expressions, reinforcing harmful stereotypes that undermine their feelings and experiences. Instead of labeling intense emotions as “drama,” we should strive to understand the underlying feelings and context. Recognizing the authenticity in someone’s emotional expression fosters empathy and connection, moving beyond reductive stereotypes.

2. He’s A Total Nerd

date less attractive guy

The term “nerd” has undergone a transformation over the years. These days, the term is used mainly to describe someone with deep knowledge or passion for a particular subject. Time Magazine points out that the word’s evolution reflects how society has started to value intellect and niche expertise more over time. It can sound like a badge of honor in certain circles, celebrating a person’s intellectual prowess. Despite this, the term still also carries a historical burden of bullying and exclusion, denoting social awkwardness or lack of athleticism. It suggests that the person is defined solely by their academic interests, often at the cost of social skills or physical activity.

On top of that, when we label someone as a “nerd,” we might inadvertently pigeonhole them into expectations about their personality and lifestyle. It can lead to stereotyping, where people assume nerds are incapable of enjoying anything outside their labeled interests. Instead of categorizing people based on what they’re passionate about, why not celebrate the passion itself? After all, loving what you do and diving deep into it should be considered a universal strength, not a label that comes with unwanted baggage.

3. She’s A Real Go-Getter

When we say someone is a “real go-getter,” it feels like we’re applauding their ambition and drive. We’re acknowledging their energy, determination, and ability to make things happen. But this label can also carry the implication of being overly aggressive or ruthless, particularly if the person is a woman. It might suggest they prioritize success at any cost, overlooking the complexity of their motivations or the pressures they face. This can be a double-edged sword, especially in environments where assertiveness is viewed less favorably in women than in men. As Forbes discusses, women often face negative perceptions when displaying assertiveness in professional settings.

Moreover, the term can impose unrealistic expectations for constant high performance, leaving little room for rest or vulnerability. It paints a picture of someone who is always on the move, potentially stigmatizing them if they choose to step back or change direction. We should celebrate ambition in all its forms without assigning it the burden of perpetual motion. Recognizing someone’s drive should also come with understanding and supporting their need for balance and well-being.

4. She’s So Quirky

When you call someone “quirky,” it often sounds like you’re admiring their unique charm. It seems to celebrate their individuality and the delightful ways they deviate from the norm. According to Lifehack, being eccentric should be looked at as being unique, standing out from the crowd, and being happy enough in one’s own skin to live authentically. However, this label can also carry connotations of being odd or difficult to understand. It’s as if their behaviors are amusing anomalies rather than integral parts of their personality. This can lead to feelings of being an outsider or not being taken seriously.

“Quirky” can also imply that a person’s differences are merely for entertainment value or to make them more palatable in small doses. This trivializes their genuine passions, interests, or mannerisms, reducing them to a one-dimensional caricature. We need to encourage and embrace the diversity of human experience, acknowledging that what makes each of us different also makes us valuable. When we label someone as “quirky,” we risk overshadowing the richness of their true self.

5. She’s A Born Mother

Describing someone as “motherly” may seem like a heartfelt compliment, recognizing their nurturing and caring nature. It conjures images of warmth, selflessness, and unconditional love. However, as noted by Psychology Today, such labels can overlook an individual’s ambitions and skills beyond nurturing roles. This label can also box a person into gender-specific roles, implying that their primary value lies in their ability to care for others. This can feel stifling and may not reflect the individual’s own sense of identity or aspirations.

Being seen as “motherly” might also suggest that the person is constantly available for emotional labor, which can be exhausting and unfair. It doesn’t consider that they might need care and support themselves. Labels like these limit our understanding of what it means to be compassionate and empathetic, qualities that are not confined to gender or parental roles. Everyone should have the freedom to express care and empathy in their own way, unbounded by traditional labels.

6. He’s A Gentle Giant

Describing someone as a “gentle giant” often brings a warm, comforting sense of security. It’s intended to highlight someone who, despite their imposing size, has a soft and tender demeanor. However, according to PhrasesHub, this label can inadvertently reduce that person to nothing more than their physical stature, implying there’s something inherently surprising or novel about their kindness. It can suggest that without this gentleness, they would be intimidating or even threatening. In essence, it implies that strength and kindness are mutually exclusive traits, which isn’t fair or accurate.

Moreover, people who are labeled this way might feel that their intellect, wit, or other defining characteristics are overshadowed by their size. Imagine the frustration of being constantly reminded of your physical presence as if that’s the most interesting thing about you. We should strive to see beyond the surface and appreciate the multifaceted personalities that make each individual unique. Everyone deserves to be seen for who they truly are, not just the parts that stand out most visibly.

7. She’s Such a Free Spirit

happy woman on beach

At first glance, calling someone a “free spirit” seems like a compliment. It conjures images of someone unburdened by societal expectations, living life on their own terms. Dig a little deeper, and you’ll see that it can also suggest a lack of responsibility or seriousness. It’s as if you’re saying, “You’re too whimsical to be taken seriously,” or “You can’t be relied upon for practical matters.” The essence of a person is lost under the assumption that they float through life without direction or depth. In reality, the so-called “free spirit” might have just as much focus and drive as anyone else, just directed in a different way. According to MindBodyGreen, being a free spirit requires ambition to forge one’s own path, as they “dream big and often follow through.”

Moreover, labeling someone in this manner can make them feel like they’re being put on display as a curiosity or novelty. It’s as if their life choices are something to be observed from a distance instead of understood. We should celebrate individuality and the courage it takes to live authentically, without pigeonholing people into roles that make us comfortable. A person’s complexity and depth deserve recognition beyond the tidy boxes we try to fit them into.

8. He’s A Total Jock

Black man, fitness and smile with arms crossed in the city for running exercise, workout or training in the outdoors. Portrait of a African American, confident and sporty male smiling in a urban town

Calling someone a “jock” is often intended as a nod to their athletic prowess and physical fitness. It seems to praise their achievements in sports and physical activities. However, this label can also imply a lack of intellectual depth or emotional sensitivity. It suggests that the person is all brawn and no brain, reducing their entire identity to their athletic abilities. This stereotype can be damaging, leading people to underestimate their talents beyond sports.

On the flip side, being labeled a “jock” can create pressure to constantly perform and maintain a particular image. It can suggest that failure or interest in anything “non-athletic” could betray their identity. People, just like athletes, are multi-dimensional, with interests and skills that reach far beyond what we see on the field or court. Recognizing the full spectrum of someone’s character helps us connect more genuinely, moving past simplistic categorizations.

9. He’s a Big Softie

Referring to someone as a “big softie” seems like a sweet acknowledgment of their kindness and empathy, especially when they’re typically seen as tough or stoic. It highlights the unexpected tenderness within, which can be endearing. However, this label can also undermine their strength or resilience, suggesting that their softness is a surprising deviation rather than a natural complement to their other traits. It implies that sensitivity and strength are incompatible, a notion that restricts the full expression of their personality.

Additionally, calling someone a “big softie” can create pressure to always be the comforting figure, neglecting their own needs or struggles. It risks trivializing their emotions, as if their softness is just a quirky part of their identity rather than a legitimate aspect of their humanity. We should appreciate the courage it takes to be open and empathetic in a world that often values toughness. Embracing the entirety of a person’s emotional range allows them to show up fully and authentically.

10. He’s A Natural-Born Leader

Describing someone as a “natural leader” might seem like the ultimate compliment, recognizing their charisma and ability to inspire others. It suggests that leadership is an effortless talent, something they were born with. However, this label can overshadow the hard work, learning, and growth that has contributed to their leadership skills. It implies that they haven’t had to struggle or put effort into developing their abilities, which can be dismissive of their dedication and perseverance.

Being labeled a “natural leader” can also create pressure to always be in charge or have all the answers, leaving little room for vulnerability or mistakes. It can overlook the importance of collaboration and the value of diverse leadership styles. We should recognize that effective leadership comes in many forms and is often the result of continuous learning and adaptation. Celebrating someone’s leadership potential shouldn’t completely disregard the journey and effort it takes to lead effectively and authentically.

11. She’s So Articulate

Calling someone “articulate” is often meant to praise their ability to express themselves clearly and eloquently. It highlights their skill in communication and their ability to convey ideas effectively. However, this label can carry an undercurrent of surprise or condescension, particularly if it is said in a setting that implies that articulateness is unexpected. It can suggest that clear communication is a rarity in their community or demographic, which is both stereotypical and patronizing.

Moreover, being labeled “articulate” can sometimes sideline the substance of what someone is saying in favor of focusing on how they’re saying it. It’s as if their eloquence is more noteworthy than the content of their speech, which can undermine the power and importance of their message. We should value the insights and perspectives someone brings to the table, appreciating their communication skills as part of the whole. Recognizing someone’s articulate nature should come alongside an appreciation for the ideas and experiences they share.

12. He’s Always The Life Of The Party

Referring to someone as “the life of the party” might seem like a glowing endorsement of their charisma and ability to entertain. It points to their sociability and the joy they bring to gatherings. But this label can also reduce a person’s identity to their ability to keep others entertained, ignoring the quieter, more introspective sides of their personality. It creates an expectation to always be “on,” which can be exhausting and unfulfilling for those who may want to be recognised for the deeper layers that make up who they are.

Labelking someone “the life of the party” can overshadow their need for personal space or downtime, making them feel pressured to maintain a lively persona. It can also result in others taking them less seriously, assuming they’re only suited for lighthearted interactions rather than meaningful conversations. We should celebrate social vibrancy while also respecting the individual’s need for balance and authenticity. Understanding the full spectrum of someone’s personality allows them to shine in all areas of their life, not just at parties.

13. She’s A Total Foodie

couple eating tacos on a date

Labeling someone as a “foodie” may seem like a badge of honor, recognizing their passion for culinary experiences and their adventurous palate. It paints a picture of someone with refined tastes and a love for exploring new dishes. However, this label can also trivialize their genuine interest in food culture, reducing it to a trendy hobby rather than a meaningful pursuit or even a professional path. It can suggest a superficial engagement with food, ignoring the depth of knowledge and understanding they might have.

Furthermore, being called a “foodie” might box them into a specific identity that overlooks their other interests and talents. It can lead to assumptions that their life revolves solely around food, which might not capture the full range of their passions. We should appreciate the richness of someone’s culinary interests without reducing them to a label. Recognizing the depth of a person’s pursuits, whether they involve food or otherwise, encourages a more nuanced and respectful interaction.

14. He’s A Tech Bro

Describing someone as a “tech guru” seems like a high compliment, acknowledging their expertise and proficiency with technology. It suggests that they’re a go-to person for tech-related advice and solutions. However, this label can create unrealistic expectations for them to always have the answers or be readily available to help. It can also pigeonhole them into a narrow identity that overlooks their skills and interests outside the tech realm.

Moreover, being called a “tech guru” might imply that their knowledge comes easily or without effort, which can diminish the hard work and dedication they’ve invested in honing their skills. It overlooks the continuous learning and problem-solving that are intrinsic to their expertise. Instead of boxing someone into a “guru” role, we should recognize their technological prowess as one aspect of a diverse skill set. Celebrating expertise should come with an appreciation for the effort and commitment it takes to achieve it.

15. She’s A Survivor

A Beautiful Girl Enjoying Summer Sun on the coast.

Referring to someone as a “survivor” is often meant as a tribute to their resilience and strength in overcoming adversity. It highlights their ability to endure and rise above challenging circumstances. However, this label can also define them primarily by their past struggles, overshadowing their present achievements and future aspirations. It risks overlooking the full complexity of their identity, which includes joys, talents, and experiences beyond their survival story.

Additionally, being labeled a “survivor” can place them in a role that requires constant resilience, which can be emotionally taxing. It might imply an expectation for them to continually demonstrate strength, leaving little room for vulnerability or healing. We should honor the courage it takes to overcome adversity while also recognizing and celebrating the broader spectrum of their life. Appreciating someone’s resilience should include support for their growth and happiness beyond their past challenges.

Georgia is a passionate story-teller and accomplished lifestyle journalist originally from Australia, now based in New York City. She writes lifestyle content for Bolde Media, publishers of Bolde, Star Candy and Earth Animals.