Want To Find A Great Guy? Be The Kind Of Person You Want To Date

There’s a surefire way to attract what you want in a partner — be the kind of person you’d want to date. If you’re giving off the right energy, you’ll attract the right guy! Here are some ways to get started on refining the already stellar person you are so you can find the things you’re looking for in love:

  1. Know what you want in the first place. It’s a lot easier to attract what you want if you know what that actually is. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know it when it comes along? You won’t. You have to have a clear vision of the type of person you want to be with and then you need to live up to those standards yourself.
  2. Invest time in yourself. If you want to be a quality person, you have to work on yourself. It’s one thing to have good intentions, but you need to focus on constantly bettering who you are as a human being. Changing will be uncomfortable at first, but that’s how you know good things are happening. You can’t be the kind of person you want to date (or the kind of person you’re proud to be in general) if you’re sitting around in a complacent rut.
  3. Invest time in others. Get out of your head and just start helping people. Do anything and everything you can to be of service. Be kind. Be considerate. Be helpful. Give selflessly, and you’ll be amazed at what you receive in return. The personal satisfaction you get from helping others will be so great that you’ll become addicted. You want to be with a giving person, right? First be one yourself.
  4. Be present and open-minded. It’s ridiculous how absent people are even when they’re standing right in front of you. They have their faces buried in their phones or they aren’t really listening to you because their minds are elsewhere. It seems easy to be present, but in reality, it’s hard work. Take the time and make the effort to really BE where you are. Listen without judgment and love without conditions.
  5. Really listen to other people. Don’t just nod your head and smile; absorb their words. Respond thoughtfully when it’s appropriate. Don’t pretend to listen while you’re really waiting for the moment when you can jump in to express your own thoughts. It’s obvious when people do that and it’s obnoxious. If you want a partner who makes you feel heard and understood, strive to do that for other people first.
  6. Let go of judgment. There’s no room for that crap in your life. What a waste of time and energy! Think of all the constructive things you could be doing with the time you expend judging people. It’s dumb, it’s negative, and it’s absolutely pointless. It only hurts you and diminishes your quality as a human being. Cut it out immediately.
  7. Be as kind as possible. None of us can truly know what another person is going through. They might not treat you properly sometimes, but don’t react with frustration and anger. Try to be compassionate and understanding, as difficult as it may prove at times. You would want your partner to be kind to you in tough times, wouldn’t you? Think about it that way, and be that person for someone else.
  8. Stand up for what you know is right. Don’t be afraid to make your opinion heard. You have a voice and a mind and they’re just as valid as anyone else’s. We’re are all equal human beings. If you feel that others are being mistreated or abused, do something. Be the change you want to see in the world. Inspire and lead others the way you would want your partner to do.
  9. Defend your values. Whatever they are, they’re part of the core of what makes you unique. They are valuable and they define you in a way. Stand up for them, speak up for them, and defend them without rejecting all other views. Everyone has a valid voice, and it’s your responsibility to try to understand their point of view while maintaining your own. It’s a delicate balance, and one that many fail to achieve.
  10. Work hard and take pride in your accomplishments. A strong work ethic will be your best friend in life. It’s harder than ever to get ahead these days, and it’ll require determination and perseverance. Do you have what it takes to succeed? When you do, definitely don’t be ashamed to own those accomplishments. You deserve the glory — you busted your ass to get there! You want ambition and drive in your future boyfriend? Attract those qualities by owning them yourself first.
  11. Never give up. It’s so easy to stop trying when the going gets rough — that’s what most people will do. Don’t be most people. Keep on reaching and striving and doing your damnedest, no matter what it takes. Your strength and willpower show your mettle as a person. You’re tough and you won’t be beaten by hard times or unfortunate circumstances. You’ll rise above and become stronger than ever.
  12. Show compassion and love to everyone. It’s easy to give kindness and affection to those you already care for, but what about those who drive you crazy? How do you learn to love your enemies? By remembering that they are all human beings with strengths and flaws just like you. You may not agree with them. You may not even think they’re very quality people. In the end, we’re all basically the same and want the same general things. Try to remember that.
  13. Have a sense of humor about yourself. No one wants to be around a person who takes themselves too seriously. Boring! Don’t be stuffy and uptight — know when to laugh at your own mistakes and blunders. You’ll be able to shake them off quickly that way and move on to bigger and better things. A good relationship needs humor and self-deprecation to survive. You don’t want to be with someone who makes you feel uneasy, and you don’t want to be that person either.
  14. Act with good intentions. Even if the end result isn’t what you intended, come out of the gate with positive intent and you’ll always win. You can’t control certain outside elements, but you can always control how you approach your life. If you come at it with positivity and kindness then you’ve done the best you can. A good attitude speaks volumes about someone’s soul. Be the cheerful ray of sunshine you’d want to date.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.