12 Kinds Of Sex Guys Will Only Have With Girls They Don’t See A Future With

Intimacy can be a beautiful thing when done with love, trust, and commitment. But for some guys, relationships just aren’t their thing and they prefer to keep their encounters devoid of feelings. While not without exceptions, there are certain kinds of intimacy that usually mean the guy isn’t interested in a future.

  1. Wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am at 2 a.m. is a bad sign. We’re not talking about when two committed people wake up in the middle of the night for some fun in the sheets. This is the kind of thing that happens when you go over to his place for the sole purpose of hooking up and leave right after without spending the night. It’s the “I want you” text that wakes you because he knows no matter what time it is, you’ll come running.
  2. No post-action spooning equals no post-action commitment. Not every intimate encounter is going to be followed by cuddling, but if you’ve been hooking up with someone consistently and he’s never once initiated snuggles, it’s because he has no interest in you turning into anything other than a side piece. Even the toughest guys will spoon when they have true feelings for someone.
  3. If he’s never sober, he’s not interested. A huge red flag is if you only ever sleep with a guy when he’s drunk. That kind of deal is a sure-fire sign that he’s not interested in any type of future with you. Think about it—if he only thinks of you or wants you when he’s thrown back God knows how many beers, is that really someone you want to be hanging (or sleeping) with?
  4. Intimacy that’s void of any eye contact whatsoever is also void of substance. Even the most passionate couples will occasionally have a good hard go at it without the mushy gushy stuff. But if he doesn’t once catch your eye, he has absolutely no interest in you beyond a casual encounter. The eyes are the window to the soul and by avoiding yours, he’s making his stance clear.
  5. Real men don’t brag to their friends. Guys who respect a woman enough to want to lock her down and date her don’t kiss and tell beyond the innocent details. Plenty of guys will talk about their girlfriends but anyone going using descriptors that are insensitive and more like locker room talk shows that the guy doesn’t see a future and therefore doesn’t care if he makes you sound more animal than human.
  6. Skipping all pre-love-making activity and going straight to home base means he doesn’t care. We may not be in high school but doing other things before the big finale is still the best part of sleeping together. If a guy immediately jumps inside you every time and doesn’t bother to do anything else, he likely doesn’t care whether or not you’re enjoying yourself (more on that later) and doesn’t care himself about anything other than his happy ending.
  7. Vanilla love-making doesn’t mean he’s checked out but if he won’t do what you’ve suggested, he has. If you’ve offered cool positions, roleplay, toys and other things to spice it up and he shoots them all down, you have to accept what his deal is. He’s not down to try anything new because he doesn’t want to give you the wrong idea that he’s actually interested… Awkward.
  8. Bringing in other people is a sign that you alone aren’t enough for him. Some people like to spice up their intimate life but adding extra partners into the mix, but if you’re only hooking up as part of a small crowd, chances are he isn’t interested in any kind of future with only you. AKA, you’re not good enough, which is totally ridiculous.
  9. Never asking/caring if you peaked should be a crime. If we had a dime for every selfish guy who went about his own satisfaction during sex and went on his way, we’d all be rich, and if you’re having that kind of intimacy, he’s not a keeper. Real men want you to enjoy yourself as much as they do and do whatever they can to make it happen.
  10. Roughness is fine, but there’s a line that shouldn’t be crossed. A solid guy who wants a future with you will make sure to never go above and beyond a fun but intense ride. If you’re feeling like he’s taking it a little too far and doesn’t seem to care when you point it out, he’s using you for a quick lay and he isn’t planning on making any love.
  11. When there’s nothing between you except hooking up, he’s using you. We’ve all had that fling that never sees the light of day. Literally—like you never step foot in a movie, a restaurant or anywhere else that’s not your bedroom. Real relationships include dates, not just love-making, and if he’s made no move or effort to do anything with you except fool around, he’s not looking towards the future.
  12. If he can’t/refuses to express how he feels, the feelings likely aren’t there. It can be hard for men to open up, but most will still try when faced with the woman they want to spend at least the next portion of their life with. When you’re having the kind of intimacy that makes you wonder what he’s thinking because he won’t tell you, that’s a good indication that you don’t want to know. Because the answer is he’s thinking you’re “fun” but not “worth the trouble.” Move on—deserve better.
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