The Notebook makes kissing in the rain look romantic, but in real life, that rain just messes up your hair and makeup. Despite what Noah and Allie would have you believe, it’s not an experience that you should put on your bucket list. That’s why you should stop trying to model your love life after your favorite fictional couples. After all, most movie moments suck in real life.
Having food fights in the kitchen. It’s fun to cook together. It’s less fun to clean up the flour and spaghetti sauce that you got all over the floors. Even though having a food fight in the middle of your kitchen sounds like a blast, it’s only going to cause a fight by the end of the night. After all, it’s frustrating to wash stains off of your clothes and pick food out of your hair.
Asking him to win you a teddy bear. If you go to a carnival with your boyfriend and he happens to win you a bear, that’s great. However, he shouldn’t make it his mission to win you the biggest stuffed animal there. He’ll just end up wasting twenty bucks playing pointless games that he’s never going to win. Plus, do you really want to haul around such a big bear for the rest of the day?
Having sex in the shower. Shower sex is never as easy as it looks in the movies. Neither is losing your virginity. Or sex on the beach. Or sex while standing up. Any type of sex you see in a movie is unrealistic, so don’t attempt it unless you’re ready for disappointment.
Tossing rocks at a window. When you hear a strange noise in the middle of the night, you’ll wonder if a burglar is in your house before you wonder if your boyfriend is paying a visit. The sound alone could terrify you, but what if one of those stones ends up breaking the window? The act is not only dangerous, but it’s just plain creepy. You don’t need your boyfriend watching you while you sleep.
Running through an airport. If your man owns a cell phone, there’s really no reason for you to rush through an airport to find him. Of course, even if you decide to run around like a maniac to be romantic, you’ll risk getting stopped by security. After all, if you do anything out of the ordinary, they’re going to think you’re a danger.
Kissing in front of a crowd. In movies, strangers will cheer on couples that they see kissing. In real life, strangers will heckle you if you engage in PDA. Even if it’s a special moment for you two, strangers don’t know your story, so they won’t give a damn about your make-out session. They’ll just want it to stop.
Learning how to ballroom dance. Taking a dance class with your sweetheart sounds like a fun idea. However, think of how frustrated you’ll be when he can’t get the moves right. Plus, you could end up jealous of the hot instructor that keeps touching him to show him the right way to move.
Letting your man sketch you naked. This was romantic in Titanic, but unless your man is a world famous artist, you probably shouldn’t let him sketch you while naked. The picture probably won’t come out the way you wanted, and then you’re going to fight with him over the way he depicted your thighs.
Tossing papers off your desk for sex. In movies, characters manage to have sex in the middle of their office without getting caught. They’ll toss everything off of their desk, letting papers fly, and then make love on top of it. Of course, in real life, you wouldn’t want your paperwork going everywhere. You organized that for a reason.
Objecting at a wedding. If the love of your life really wanted to stop you from marrying the wrong man, he’d find a way to let you know how he felt without barging in on a special occasion and embarrassing you in front of everyone you love. It’s not romantic to object at a wedding. It’s just plain rude. After all, he could’ve sent you a text before the ceremony started.
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