I Know There Are Good Guys Amongst The Douchebags — I Just Need To Find One

The search for true love has been a long and fruitless one for me, and I get the impression that it’s not going to stop anytime soon. But even though I seriously doubt that I’ll meet my soulmate in the near future, this is why I refuse to tell myself that real love is just a myth:

  1. I know I’m a catch. I feel like the second someone learns I’m single, they assume it’s because of something I’m doing. They figure that there must be something wrong with me that drives men away. I refuse to take all the blame, though. I know I’m a great woman, and even though I have my flaws, I’m sure the right guy will appreciate me for who I am.
  2. I just haven’t met the right guy yet. I’ve been in relationships and had my heart broken into a million pieces, but it wasn’t because true love doesn’t exist — It was because every guy I dated just wasn’t right for me. That doesn’t mean my dream man isn’t out there. No matter how many Mr. Wrongs I date, there will never be enough douchebags to convince me there’s no Mr. Right.
  3. There’s someone out there for everyone. It would be too sad to believe we lived in a world where some people are destined to be alone. I’m choosing to be optimistic, and that positivity is what will get me to the finish line so I can finally claim true love as my ultimate prize. I know that my soulmate is waiting out there for me somewhere.
  4. I’m smarter than I was before. I might be a little more bitter than I was when I first jumped into the dating pool, but that doesn’t mean I stopped believing in love. I’m just a lot less naïve. I started out innocent and ignorant, but through all my trials and tribulations in the dating game, I’ve learned a hell of a lot. I’m playing the game a lot smarter now, and that’s why I’ll never stop believing that someday I’ll win.
  5. Being single is going to help me be a better partner. There are absolutely no men in my horizon. I have no one to daydream about and no almost-relationship. Right now, I’m taking this time alone to work on myself. Not only will I be happier during my time as a super single woman, but I know that if I can love myself and become the best human being possible, I’ll also be a fantastic partner to the right guy someday.
  6. A few bad eggs won’t spoil me. I’ve dated some pretty crappy guys, but that doesn’t mean I’m throwing in the towel. I’ve made mistakes, but I’m making sure they help me grow instead of breaking me. My exes will always have part of my past, but I won’t let them take my future.
  7. Not all guys are the same.  I’ve met a lot of jerks, but I also know plenty of men who are genuinely awesome. I refuse to buy into the mindset that all guys are liars, cheaters, or overall bad people. Somewhere out there is a man who will treat me right, and I refuse to listen to anyone who says that he just doesn’t exist.
  8. If I don’t find love, it’ll only be because I gave up. If I stop trying, then growing old alone will be no one’s fault but my own. Being single AF can be frustrating at times, but if I keep putting myself out there, I know I’ll find the right person eventually. Even when it seems hopeless, I know that giving up is the only way to guarantee that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life.
  9. Settling isn’t worth it. I could find a man I could be content with and settle down, but that would be such a waste of time, energy, and emotion. Why would I settle for anything less than true love? The sand isn’t falling through the hourglass of my love life. I’m not going to scare myself into settling just so I don’t end up alone. I’m willing to stay single as long as it takes until I find the kind of love I’ve always wanted.
  10. I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Just because I haven’t found the love of my life doesn’t mean that others have had the same bad luck. I know so many people who have met their perfect matches, and I have faith that I’ll be in their shoes one day. I may get down about my unsuccessful love life at times, but I know that true companionship exists because I’ve witnessed it for myself.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.