I Know There Are Good Guys Out There, But I Haven’t Met One Yet

Finding the right person in the modern dating world can feel like an impossible task. Don’t get me wrong — I know there are loads of great guys out there, but this is why I’m having such a hard time finding one:

There are too many options.

 Dating apps like Tinder provide people with so many more choices, which makes it considerably more difficult to find ‘the one’. I may be talking to someone and think we’re getting along really well while he’s talking to three other women at the exact same time. If we stop talking, it’s not a big deal — he’s probably got another twenty matches to choose from as soon as he gets bored with me. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain.

It’s hard to find someone mature enough.

What I really want from a relationship is someone who can understand and respect my needs. I don’t want an immature guy who gives me the silent treatment and refuses to talk about the important stuff. I want passionate arguments, someone who isn’t afraid to call me out, and a willingness to discuss the future. It’s a shame that the guys I meet can’t even live up to those basic standards.

No one can keep a conversation going. 

I always put in the effort to start a conversation. I ask questions about his life, job, friends — everything that’s crucial when getting to know someone. But too many of these guys seem like they don’t know how to ask any questions in return. In the end, the conversation feels extremely dull and usually doesn’t go anywhere.

Lots of guys are too scared to ask us out in person.

 We’ve all gotten so used to meeting people on social media and dating apps that the idea of actually approaching someone in the real world is borderline overwhelming. Guys these days are so used to hiding behind a screen that they no longer have the courage to approach a girl in a bookstore or at a cafe.

I feel like I’m disposable.

Modern dating apps have definitely knocked my self-esteem down a few pegs. When I’m ignored or ghosted, I start thinking it was something I said that scared them away, which makes me hesitant to talk to someone new. It shouldn’t be too hard to find a guy who won’t leave me hanging just because he liked someone else’s selfies more than mine, but it’s proving to be impossible.

I’m tired of being asked for nudes. 

Why do guys I’ve never spoken to think it’s okay to ask for naked pictures? I’m so much more than that. Needless to say, when a guy asks me for nude pictures, I’m instantly turned off. What do they expect to gain from it? The only response they will get is the middle finger emoji.

I’m caught in a rut.

The dating world can get repetitive. I talk to a guy, things are going well, and then POOF — he’s gone. I’d love to believe that there’s a guy out there who’s going to break this trend for me, but right now, it seems like every guy I talk to is going to keep disappointing me with this same cycle.

No one wants to put any thought into dates.

 First dates are terrifying, so it’s understandable that lots of guys would want to play it safe and meet for coffee or go for drinks at a bar. However, some thought should go into a second and third date. If I ask the guy out on another date and he suggests going for drinks AGAIN, I’m going to roll my eyes. I put lots of thought into the dates I suggest, but it seems like all the men I talk to are content to keep things as vanilla and cliche as humanly possible.

Everyone leads me on. 

I have no problem telling a guy I’m not into it anymore if I realize we aren’t right for each other, but apparently, I’m the only one who thinks like that. I’d be much more accepting of my single status if guys were just straight-up with me, but instead, I have to deal with them pretending like they want something serious when all they really want is to sleep with me and peace out.

No one shows their true colors until it’s too late. 

Every time I think I find a decent guy, it turns out he was just wearing a mask. I don’t actively seek out men who treat me like crap, but lots of them pretend to be good guys at first and then show who they really are once I’m in too deep. It’s not only wasting time that I could’ve spent looking for a truly wonderful man, but it’s also making me doubt my intuition when I actually meet a guy that I’m into.

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