I Know Love Exists, Even If I Didn’t Find It With You

Looking back at our unhealthy relationship, you might see it as only time wasted, but I don’t. Every mistake is just an opportunity to learn, as corny as that sounds, and our crappy relationship taught me that love does exist — just not with you.

Now I know what I don’t deserve. 

I don’t deserve is to be treated like crap. I know there’s something and someone better out there for me. You were a prime example of exactly what I don’t want. Thanks for showing me what an unhealthy relationship looks like so I can find a healthy one with someone else.

I know exactly what I want. 

And it’s not you. You know how some people have to make their own mistakes so they can learn from them? Well, that’s exactly what you were — a mistake — and boy, did I learn a lot. I was so unhappy with you, and it might sound a little strange, but being unhappy showed me what I need to be happy. Now I know what to look for in my next relationship, and it’s all thanks to you, jerk.

Love might not be easy, but it shouldn’t be this hard.

I know that no matter how healthy a relationship is, you still have to work at it. That being said, I shouldn’t have to work this hard for you to love me. Your love shouldn’t be conditional, and I shouldn’t have to adhere to your ridiculous standards. I want a guy who puts just as much effort into me as I do to him. That’s my new standard.

I want more good times than bad.

 Is that too much to ask? I don’t want to fight all the time. It’s exhausting. I want to be with someone who brings me joy, not pain — someone who makes me laugh, not cry. I know every relationship has its ups and downs, but ours is like a month of rain with only one day of clear skies. No thanks.

I’m not going to beg a guy to love me.

Or to spend time with me, make an effort or just don’t care. I shouldn’t have to even ask for those most basic things in a relationship. I shouldn’t have to feel like you’re doing me a favor every time you give me a little attention. You should want to be with me. You should want to try. You shouldn’t be able to resist loving me. I know that kind of love is real, but it’s just not there with you.

I want to be a priority.

You never made me feel like one. I’m not just whining or exaggerating — I’ve seen other relationships. I know boyfriends who put love first, but you didn’t. I was never important to you, not like you were to me, and that’s what I want — someone who loves and cares about me just as much as I love and care about him. I know that’s not too much to ask.

When you truly love someone, you care about their happiness.

But you never cared about mine. I see other couples working hard for each other, couples who are both happy because they’re invested in each other’s happiness. I wasn’t asking you to be my only sense of joy in the world. I just want someone who cares a little more about my wants and needs and a little less about his every need.

I want someone to make time for me.

I know you were busy. I know you had a life, but guess what? I had one too and I always found time for you. I shouldn’t be the one making all the sacrifices in a relationship. It shouldn’t have been all about you. I deserve someone who gives as much as he gets without me even needing to ask.

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