I Know My Relationship Is The Real Deal Because He Did These Things Differently

My boyfriend and I felt early on that our relationship is endgame, but you never really know in dating. Still, I’ve noticed minor details him from the rest. In fact, I know he’s the real deal because of these key things that never happened with any other guy.

  1. He doesn’t hesitate to plan far into the future. When he talks about plans for the future, there’s no cap on time and no “safe-zone”—forever is completely on the menu and he makes sure I know it. As a couple, we have a life plan, not just plans for a few months out. It’s honestly so liberating.
  2. He keeps me in the loop of every aspect of his life. Whether it’s calling me on his way home from work to tell me the details of his day or talking to me about his past and upbringing, he reveals things about himself that no other guy ever has. We’re not constantly stuck in small talk; there’s actual depth and variety to our conversations.
  3. I’m not afraid to discuss any and everything with him. If I’m stressed about anything, even if it’s directed at him sometimes, he’s the one and only guy that I’ve never hesitated to say exactly what’s on my mind to, regardless of what it is. From the nitty gritty period struggles, my wildest life goals, things he does that irritate me, or family and friend situations, I’m truly not afraid to bare all. I know nothing I say will scare him off. He knows my deepest secrets, my epic failures, and has seen me in my most joyful and treacherous moments and he’s still right by my side as my partner in life.
  4. When I need reassurance, he gives it to me without question. I’m definitely the type of woman who gets into my own head sometimes. I suffer from anxiety and tend to overthink everything, even us. If I’m feeling unsure or worried about how he feels about me, he doesn’t hesitate to give it to me and assures me not to worry. A simple hug or an “I love you” is always readily available for me when I need it most.
  5. He matches my sass and dishes it right back. I’m known for my sass and in the past, a lot of guys haven’t been able to handle it. They’ve either gotten overly sensitive about my sarcasm or labeled me a “crazy bitch.” My current boyfriend not only completely gets me but he serves it right back. Sometimes our arguments are full of sarcasm, which actually diffuses the situation quickly because we can’t help but keep grinning at each other and laughing. It’s nice to finally be with someone who speaks my same language in love.
  6. He doesn’t make plans without discussing it with me first. I hate how people think that discussing things with their partner first means that the other person is “wearing the pants” in the relationship. It’s just basic respect that you check with your partner to make sure there’s nothing else planned, especially if you live together. My boyfriend and I always run plans by each other first, whether the plans are for us to attend together or with others. It’s the being-in-the-know factor that I totally wasn’t used to. I’ve been blown off, canceled on last minute, and not factored into the equation so many times by guys in the past. My present is a breath of fresh air.
  7. He verbalizes and actions his love for me every single day. Not a single day has gone by that we haven’t said those three simple words to each other. In fact, every goodbye and goodnight is full of them. You’d be surprised how something so simple can actually make a huge difference in the long run. A simple “I love you” and a kiss every night before bed and when he leaves for work really melts me and makes me feel more at ease than I have with anyone else.
  8. He accepts and embraces my crazy. I’m no saint. I mess up and sometimes and let my inner crazy rear it’s ugly head—it happens. I was so used to guys who put me down when I had my moments or guys who would give up completely, ignoring all of the great parts of me. My boyfriend not only accepts those hard-to-deal-with moments, he also understand that they’re normal human reactions and I accept his moments the same way he does of me. We know those bad moods are only temporary and that the great thing we have is worth living temporarily through the struggle for. In other words, we don’t give up just because life gets less than perfect sometimes.
  9. He works his butt off for our future together. I’ve never met a guy who is as hard-working and determined as my guy is, and that’s a huge step up from what I’ve been exposed to over the years. I’ve met so many guys that lacked ambition or fell back on easy money with no real secure plans for their future. I’ve witnessed my boyfriend obtain a Bachelor’s degree, upgrade his career, and totally kill it in his new position. He has solid goals for himself and he makes it perfectly clear that his life with me and our future is why he’s working as hard as he does.
  10. He doesn’t sugarcoat things for my benefit. If I’m wrong in a situation, he tells me. If I’m acting like a grump, he calls me on it. He doesn’t hesitate to tell me his opinions because he knows I’m a strong woman who can handle the truth—I don’t need him to say all the right things. I completely respect that he calls me on my crap because that’s how it should be. Real love means being unafraid to tell someone the truth because you care about them enough to want them to become even better than even they think they can be.
  11. He lets me be me. I’ve never been so myself with anyone else and that’s the most important difference to me. From the beginning, I never had to alter who I was to get him to fall in love with me. I didn’t play games, I didn’t act a certain way, I was just me. What a relief to realize that after all these years of dating and being confused by the “rules,” the right guy for me wouldn’t need any of that crap. That’s how I knew my boyfriend was the real deal and different from every other guy.
Megan is an aspiring novelist with a deep love for popcorn, puppies and hiking with her Beagle, Marlow. A Seattle born romantic, she packed up her life after a devastating break-up to explore what New York has to offer in life and love.