I Know What I Want & I Won’t Accept Anything Less

Life is definitely a journey, but I’ve gone through a lot of ups and downs and as a result, I’ve figured out what I want. It was a lengthy and arduous process and I’m very grateful to be where I am now. I refuse to waste any more time — I know exactly what I’m looking for and I won’t rest until I find it. Here’s why:

  1. I already made enough mistakes. It was necessary to figure out what I really need, but I don’t want to make any more. I learned a lot and I am going to choose wisely this time around. I have very specific needs but I have faith that I can find the right man to fit them. I just have to be patient and work on my own life in the meantime. I’m determined and focused on what I want.
  2. I learned slowly and sometimes painfully, but it was worth it. I couldn’t understand the purpose of all my troubles until I got through them. It seemed like nothing would ever be okay and I would never find the right kind of guy. I picked all the wrong ones first, that’s for sure. It felt awful then, but now I’m confident that I understand who I am and what kind of person I need as a partner.
  3. Every guy I dated taught me something new. They were all very different — at least I didn’t make the same mistakes twice! I don’t think of any of my relationships as a waste of time because they all provided valuable life lessons that helped me tremendously. I learned what I should prioritize, what I can put up with, what I can’t, and what I deserve. I look back and feel grateful for all my past boyfriends.
  4. I had to be single for a while to figure out what I really want. Sometimes I have to take a breather from dating in order to get back to who I am and assess what’s going on in my romantic life. It’s a good time to come back to basics and realize what I’ve learned from my relationships. Taking time off from love is a great way for me to logically figure out what I need, and now that I know, I’m ready to find it!
  5. I’ve gained a lot of confidence and strength lately. It took some time and a lot of hard work, but I feel good about myself now. I never even knew I was capable of loving who I am this much. I’m a work in progress, but I’ve come really far and I’m proud of it. This has emboldened me to ask for what I really want and then walk away if I don’t get it instead of sticking around.
  6. My newly discovered sense of self helps me stick to my guns. It’s been amazing finally coming into my own as a strong and powerful woman. She was always there inside me but I was too afraid to let her free. I didn’t understand myself. Now that I do, I know to stop picking men who don’t appreciate and respect me. I’m waiting for the guy who is attracted to my strength instead of intimidated by it.
  7. I realized it’s a waste of time to date guys I know are wrong for me. Sure, I could have casual flings or filler boyfriends just for fun, but what’s the point? It just distracts me from my goals and keeps me from finding the man who can go toe-to-toe with me. I’m better off being single until I find exactly what I’m looking for.
  8. I don’t tolerate bad behavior from men anymore. It’s that simple — I don’t put up with any crap. If that means I don’t get any attention, so be it. I don’t want that kind of attention anyway. I’d rather wait forever for what I deserve than deal with that drama anymore.
  9. I’m clear now on what I find non-negotiable in a relationship. I can live with some things, other things I cannot. I had to rely on trial and error with my exes to find out what a lot of those things were. Now I know what my priorities are and what really matters in a lover. I am going to have the man I want or nothing at all.
  10. I’d much rather stay single than settle. Quite honestly, I’m better off that way. I’m perfectly comfortable being single because I love myself. Yes, I’d like to find the right partner someday, but until that happens, I’m good on my own. I don’t need a guy around all the time.
  11. Love isn’t something I take lightly. I’m not into screwing around with the feelings of other people or subverting my own. I think my emotions are valuable and I think that my time and effort deserve a reciprocal partner. I treat love with care, both for my own sake and the sake of whoever else is involved. I want big love with a wonderful man.
  12. I know I can find what I’m looking for — I just have to keep my eyes open. I have faith that the man who sees what I’ve become and loves me for it is out there somewhere. I’m looking for him and he’s looking for me. It’s only a matter of time. When I find him, I’ll know. Until then, I’ll wait.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.