Everything between us has this kind of rush. I feel like I’ve just gone skydiving after being with you. I think it’s partly the danger, because I know you’re no good. Each time I swear I’m done with you, but I end up coming back around. The secret is, you’re addicting as hell and I can’t get enough. Here’s why:
- I think I can control the danger. Or at least that’s what I tell myself when I’m free falling again. I’m playing with fire, but that’s part of why I like it so much. I like to believe I’m above the risk or that I can control the level of danger, but who knows if that’s actually the truth. Maybe I just like being with you enough to lie to myself.
- I’ve always played by the rules. My entire life has been set up to follow the rules, and I never had a problem with it before. I think there’s a solid chance you’re just my phase of rebellion that I never indulged — rebellion against the safe rules I’ve always consigned myself to. Whatever the reason, I’m breaking all my own rules now, and I can’t really feel the guilt I should feel about it.
- I thrive on the drama. I would never admit to it, but it’s the truth. Or at least it is when it comes to you. I like the adrenaline and the ups and downs. You’re like a personal roller coaster, and even when I feel I’ve gone around the track one too many times, I can’t stop myself from strapping in for one last round.
- It’s fun to break the rules – even if they’re just my own. Like I said, I’ve always been smart about who I date. I’m not a fool, and I refuse to be played for one. So it’s weird to everyone who knows me well that I’m breaking my own standards to keep circling around you. The thing they don’t understand is just how good it feels to do the thing that’s bad for me once in a while. Some people smoke cigarettes, some people get drunk all weekend long, but I’ve got you for that role in my life.
- You’re only young once. So this means that if I’m going to make some epic mistakes, I might as well make them now. It how you grow, right? Honestly, though, I don’t think I’d dare to take these chances later on in my life when things are more settled. If there’s a time to do something dangerous, that time is now. And you’re that dangerous thing.
- The highs are so damn high. I don’t feel too invested in our success, because I know that’s a stupid dream. The thing I like enough about you to put up with the other BS is that being with you gives me a rush I don’t get to experience that often. People say you’re using me, but what they don’t realize is I’m using you, too.
- I’m just not ready to quit. I know I will be one day. There will come a time when this just gets old, and I won’t want to step into the ring again. But today is not that day, and I’m back at your place again, even after I swore off you the last time things combusted between us. So for now, I’m here.