Whether you’ve been in a relationship for six months or six years, it’s incredibly difficult to break away from a guy you’ve been so close with both emotionally and physically. Going from lovers to strangers is certainly challenging to wrap your head around, but it’s better to part on the best terms that you possibly can given the circumstances.
- You once meant a lot to each other. In fact, if you had a long-term relationship, you were probably in love. It might have been years since you broke up or it might have only been a few hours, but you have to remember that you were once so into this guy and he was so into you. Even if you parted on terms that weren’t the best, you can’t deny what you once had, so try to treat each other with respect even though you’re no longer together.
- It shows maturity. It might take a lot of effort to be civil with the guy in question when the reason you split was that he cheated on you with your best friend Sandra, for example. However, doing otherwise is even worse. You can scream and shout at each other and call each other all the names under the sun or you can accept that you weren’t compatible and the relationship wasn’t meant to be. If you do the latter, it makes life so much easier, trust me!
- It’s the decent thing to do. Even if you’re being mature about the situation but he’s constantly talking crap about you on Twitter, it’s important for you to take the moral high ground. No matter how angry or upset he is, if he’s calling up your mom to tell her all the secrets that her daughter kept from her, it looks bad on him rather than you. He just looks like the a-hole trying to seek revenge for his broken heart or get one up on you. I know it’s hard, but the whole experience will be a lot more pleasant for both of you if you’re respectful towards the other person.
- It shows him what he’s missing. You don’t have to be his best friend after your breakup, but if you’re being pleasant about him or to him, it’s more likely to make him stop and think, “Oh, I forgot how great she is” rather than “Man, what a bitch—I had a lucky escape!” This way, if you ever need to get back in touch with him for whatever reason (like you left your favorite sweater at his house), the whole experience will be a lot more positive and easier for both sides.
- It’s not healthy to harbor negative energy. If you let negative energy sit and fester, it will gradually become more and more destructive as time goes on. It will affect your mind as well as your daily mood and you’ll inevitably find it even harder to move on. You’ll understandably be upset for a long time and it’s easier said than done, but try not to let your negative emotions take over. You have to have faith that things will get better eventually.
- You have to accept what’s done is done. Regardless of the ins and outs of how you guys ended, it happened. You can’t change it. You’re no longer together, so why keep dragging out the bad feelings? The sooner you accept that it’s over, the sooner you can start to move on and move forward with your life. It’s also important not to blame yourself or your ex, otherwise, this will slow down the whole “getting over him” process.
- Deep down, you’d expect your ex to be happy for you. Whether you or your ex ended the relationship or it was a mutual decision, you’d like to believe that your ex would be happy for you when you eventually move on. Why not extend the same courtesy to him? Even if you don’t like him very much anymore for what happened or how he handled the breakup, you can still be the better person and wish him all the best. Then you’re free to work on your own happiness.
- Old bitterness might re-surface in your next relationship. If you let negativity and bitterness linger, the chances are that these emotions will come back and bite you in the butt in your next relationship because you haven’t allowed yourself to fully heal from your previous relationship. Life’s too short to hold a grudge, so you have to learn to let go of negative emotions and that will stand you in good stead for your next romantic partner.
- Life’s better when everyone is kinder to each other. You might not be happy or agree with how things went down, but you can never fully understand someone’s journey in life until you walk in their shoes. Therefore, try not to judge them too harshly by their words and actions. At the end of the day, they’re acting based on their emotions and you can never get inside someone else’s head to fully understand what’s going on. There’s a reason you liked your ex in the first place, so try to remember that when you’re staying awake late at night just so you can make a list in your head of all the reasons why you hate him. Be kind, accept the situation and move on. You’ll be so much better off in the long run, trust me.