Ladies, Life Shouldn’t Be All About Finding A Boyfriend Or Husband

Ladies, Life Shouldn’t Be All About Finding A Boyfriend Or Husband ©iStock/pixelfit

Too many women place too much importance on finding a boyfriend or husband, as if procuring a mate is somehow going to make their life so much better — but it won’t. Sure, having a partner is great, but to be honest, you need to have bigger dreams than getting a man. Here’s what life should be about instead:

  1. Doing things on your own terms. Get up when you want. Go where you want. Quit your job when you want. Stay out drinking all night when you want. Splurge on the expensive cheese when you want. You have no one to justify your actions or choices to, so enjoy the hell out of that.
  2. Challenging yourself. Give yourself a goal and shoot for it. When you reach it, give yourself another goal, a more difficult one — and when you reach that one, push yourself even further. Never stop growing in your ambitions and challenging yourself to be the best you can be.
  3. Building a career. They say if you do something you love, you’ll never work a day in your life — that’s the difference between a job and a career. Millions of people have jobs; be in the minority of people who have a career and love it. Focus on it and turn it into something of which you’ll be proud.
  4. Fostering great friendships. True story, ladies: Boys and men will come and go, but friends are forever. Cliché? Yep. Fact? Hell yeah.
  5. Meeting new people. When you throw yourself out into the world to meet new people, you never know who you’re going to find. You could come across a new best friend, your future mentor or maybe even your next great love — although that shouldn’t be your reason for meeting new people. Basically, go out there and keep an open mind.
  6. Traveling near and far. Whether it’s a weekend away to the next state over and somewhere on the other side of the globe, it’s important to travel. Traveling enriches our lives and forever changes us in ways that are good for the soul. Have yourself many adventures.
  7. Figuring out who you are and what you want. Even the most together people in the world still don’t have it all figured out — it’s OK to be lost. So let yourself wander, experiment with new things, and explore every corner of yourself and your life. Know yourself inside and out, but always leave a little bit uncovered for a dash of mystery.
  8. Working on your mental health. People who are strong mentally can take on the world. This doesn’t mean you need to be in therapy necessarily, but it does mean you should know how to keep your mental health in check. Practice meditation or yoga. Educate yourself. Keep an open mind and never be afraid to question what seems to be wrong.
  9. Getting to know your parents. The relationship you have with your parents as an adult is far different than the one you had with them when you were a teenager. You can finally see them more clearly than you did as a kid and they can finally treat you like an adult. This is the perfect time to get to know your parents are fellow human beings and, dare I suggest it, friends. You might find out that they’re kinda cool.
  10. Having fun solo. A woman who can have fun by herself, at any and all times, is a very lucky woman. Realize that you, and only you, can decide what’s fun for you and what isn’t. So have a blast.
  11. Learning to love yourself. If the greatest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself, then get on that. Take yourself on dates. Spoil yourself rotten. Buy yourself your own damn flowers. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how fantastic you are. No one is ever going to love you half as well, so embrace that love you have for yourself and never let it go.
Amanda Chatel is a sexual health, mental health, and wellness journalist with more than a decade of experience. Her work has been featured in Shape, Glamour, SELF, Harper's Bazaar, The Atlantic, Forbes, Elle, Mic, Men's Health and Bustle, where she was a lifestyle writer for seven years. In 2019, The League included Amanda in their "15 Inspirational Feminists Every Single Person Should Follow on Twitter" list.

Amanda has a bachelor's degree in English and master's degree in Creative Writing from the University of New Hampshire. She divides her time between NYC, Paris, and Barcelona.

You can follow her on Instagram @la_chatel or on Twitter @angrychatel.