Do you feel like you have an a-hole magnet attached to you? Some people really do just seem to attract the wrong kinds of dudes, and while part of it may be bad luck, it might also have to do with the vibe you’re putting out. If any of these things apply to you, it might be time to change up your dating game if you want to stop attracting the slimiest variety of guys:If any of these things apply to you, it might be time to change up your dating game if you want to stop attracting the slimiest variety of guys:
You don’t know what you want.
When you know what you want, it’s easy to filter out what doesn’t meet your standards. But when you’re unsure what you’re after, you’ll be a lot more open to trying something on for size. And while this can be a great thing, attracting jerks is an unpleasant side effect. If you’re tired of gross dudes trying to get at you, then you might need to have a serious think about what you’re looking for.
You’re willing to try to ‘fix’ him.
It’s tempting to believe that every douchebag is a good person deep down, and that might be true. But it’s absolutely NOT your job to fix each and every dude who strikes out on being a good person. Take the guys around you for what they are, not for what they could be. Because seriously, who has time for renovations these days?
You’re willing to settle.
If you start dating the first person who hits on you because, hey, he’s SOMETHING, you’re going to stuck dating jerks forever. Hold out for what you want — don’t compromise just so you can get rid of your single status.
You’re negative about your long-term love prospects.
As soon as dating becomes a chore, your douchebag-to-good-person ratio is going to get way out of whack. With dating, you get what you put in. So if you go in with loads of negativity, then you’re going to get loads of negativity back.
You lack confidence.
Douchebags are insecure and will naturally be attracted to other insecure people. If you’re comfortable with who you are, you’ll put out that vibe, and all those jerks will know it’s not worth the time to try to win you over.
It’s amazing how much subtext people can pick up on. Have you ever walked into a room where two people were just fighting and felt like you could almost see the tension in the air? Well, the same thing happens on an individual level. If you think that you’re too tall for dudes to like you, jerks around you will pick up on that and use it to their advantage.
You dumb yourself down.
We men LOVE to explain stuff. Hence mansplaining (sadly). But there’s absolutely positively no reason for you to ever dumb yourself down or listen to some snotty dude explain something you already know. Be full-throttle brilliant and you’ll start to attract better guys in no time: guys who know that it’s okay to disagree, who aren’t threatened by women who are smart, and who actually enjoy stimulating conversation.
You’re unwilling to shut guys down.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, there will always be some bar urchin trying to hit on you. If you’re unwilling to FIRMLY shut down these obvious non-starters, you’ll end up feeling like you’re spending all your time surrounded by jerks. If you have to be a little cruel, then screw it — he had it coming if he didn’t pick up on the hints.
You don’t know your worth.
If you only think that you’re right for douchebags, then douchebags you will get. Don’t forget that you’re actually worth a lot more. You deserve a decent person to spend time with, who enjoys your company for reasons beyond your breast size, and who has his own life together.
You accept lackluster behavior.
The more you accept subpar behavior, the more you’re going to get coming your way. Draw a line and don’t cross it. Don’t be a doormat, and guys who aren’t worth dating anyway will start looking elsewhere for someone to screw over.
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