Ladies, The Sooner You Accept That Your Dream Man Doesn’t Exist, The Better

The idea that there’s a “perfect” guy out there for all of us is an attractive notion but it’s also kind of naive. Sure, you should believe in soulmates and that there’s someone out there meant for you, but don’t hold onto the idea of some dream guy because he probably doesn’t exist.

  1. You’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and the guys you date. Just FYI, you don’t have to find the perfect guy. Rather, it’s all about meeting someone you connect with on all (or at least most) levels. Alleviate yourself of the pressure of having to find the right guy for you when you’re dating. Just roll with it and good things just might happen.
  2. Reminder: human beings are inherently flawed. So many of us have lists as long as our arms of qualities that any guy we’re going to date or potentially marry must have, but this isn’t fair. We end up feeling disheartened when we can’t find a guy that meets all the requirements on the list, which is exactly why you should throw your list out of the window. You don’t need one—as long as you’re feeling the magic, then it’s all good.
  3. What looks great on paper often doesn’t translate in real life. Even if there was such a thing as your dream man, what makes you think that you’re going to work as a couple? As I said before, it’s more important to have a great connection—and who’s going to say you’ll have one?
  4. Flaws are what make people unique and interesting. You can’t go running in the opposite direction from a guy whenever you discover a flaw or negative quality. Unless it’s a serious dealbreaker like an inability to be faithful or an abusive streak, flaws are what make us interesting and unique. Why would you want a perfect guy anyway? Boring!
  5. Everyone makes mistakes. We’re all going to screw up sometimes, each and every one of us—and that includes this “dream man” you’re expecting to meet. It’s what we do about our screwups that make all the difference. Learning from them to grow as people and refusing to let them define us is an admirable quality, not a bad one.
  6. No, your BFF’s boyfriend isn’t perfect either. Just because your friend Susan’s man voluntarily does the dishes straight away after they’ve both finished eating and your new squeeze doesn’t, it doesn’t mean that your guy isn’t agreeable in other ways. It’s tempting to compare everybody’s other halves when catching up with your girlfriends but don’t. Each relationship is different and every relationship has its problems.
  7. Social media is a lie. It’s so easy to look at smiling, happy photos of couples you know on social media and think that they’ve got the most idealistic lives and/or relationships. The truth is, it doesn’t mean anything. The reality could be very different to what someone’s projecting on a social media platform.
  8. You’re wasting your time. If you’re still holding onto the idea of a “perfect” guy, then you’re probably already wasting your time—as well as the time of the guys you’ve been dating. The chances are, you’ve been finding ridiculous reasons to break up with people just because they haven’t met your lofty ideals.  Don’t forget that we’re talking about romantic partnerships with humans here, not a job description.
  9. You should focus on what matters. Sure, he might only be slightly taller than you, and you wanted a guy that was at least 6’2″. Or, you wanted a guy who supported the Green Bay Packers and he supports the Chicago Bears. But in the grand scheme of things, do these little things even matter if everything else is great? Think about it: how you interact with someone is so much more important than anything else.
  10. Give guys a chance. Ultimately, it just comes down to giving people a chance. Everybody deserves a chance. Sometimes you’ve just got to give the guys that don’t seem anything like your dream guy a chance and be open-minded when dating someone new. Why? Because they just might surprise you.
Katie Davies is a British freelance writer who has built a career creating lifestyle content that caters to the modern woman. When she's not sipping tea, shopping, or exploring a new city, you'll probably find her blogging about her fashion and travel adventures at https://trendytourist.co.uk.
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