Once upon a time, women ruled the world. Everything was goddess-centric and men where the consorts who did the hunting and heavy lifting. Then Christianity happened and a bunch of misogynistic dudes forced women into subservient positions… and the competition for men began. Here’s why it’s total bull and completely unnecessary.
- It distracts you from other stuff. When you’re competing for men with other women, you aren’t focusing on extremely important things, such as your career and your family and friends. Trying to figure out how to one-up another woman takes serious time, especially if you’re mapping out when to see the guy next and enlisting your friends to help you keep other girls away. What is this, cattle farming? Take a moment to step back and think about what’s really important, such as applying for the new position at your company or working on your TV script.
- Men should fight for you, not the other way around. Chasing dudes is generally a waste of time. Why? As a general rule, guys make a serious effort when they are into certain girls. They stalk their lives plenty, whether via text, chat, showing up at the bars they like or asking them to hang every other day. If the guy doesn’t do these or similar things, to quote the now-classic line, he’s just not that into you. Why put all that effort into chasing a guy who doesn’t give a flying squirrel?
- Why can’t we all just get along? Competing for men can get ugly fast. Do you really want to be that girl, the one who drunkenly approaches another woman talking to the guy you like and makes a scene? Do you want to get thrown out of the neighborhood bar and feel so embarrassed you need to move several states away? Of course you don’t.
- Most dudes aren’t that great. Let’s face it: most dudes, as my great-grandfather used to say, “aren’t worth the powder to blow them to hell.” I’m not trying to say all men suck, I’m just saying he might not be as great as you think he is. This is especially true if he’s showing zero interest but still having sex with you periodically. He’s not your boyfriend, your property, etc. Repeat: he’s not your boyfriend.
- It’s soooooo petty. Competing for dudes turns you into “that woman,” the one other women don’t want to be friends with. Such women are often described as “so nice” by guys because they are always flirty with dudes but ignore or are just plain rude and petty to their fellow females. Don’t be nice because everyone is nice. Serial killers are nice. Be kind, especially to your own sex. They are not your enemies. They are your sisters. Even if you don’t like them personally, they are still your sisters and you should support each other.
- You could lose friends. Speaking of supporting your fellow women, your competitive nature could make you lose friends. One of my best buddies is a beautiful woman who had a friend who constantly competed with her for guys. Instead of being a good wingwoman, she railroaded my friend every single time a guy approached her. It’s not my friend’s fault that she’s stunning and guys always want to talk to her. The “railroading” by her supposed friend was one of the many reasons she stopped talking to that girl. Who needs someone who never has your back? How is that fun? So rather than losing friends, go the supportive route. You’ll do a lot better that way.
- If you want to bang, just, you know, go outside. If you want to have sex, you can pretty much walk up to any dude and ask him if he wants to bone. The chances of him saying “Kay!!!” are exceedingly high. It doesn’t take much to enjoy male attention – simply showing up looking at least somewhat decent is usually enough. Women think it takes so much effort to “snag a man.” Men are simple, highly-visual creatures who think about sex all the darn time. So if you want it, or at least want some attention, go and get yourself some instead of trying to bring down other women, which is a really negative way to spend your time anyway.
- Men want women. Period. To add to my last point, men want women all the time. The end. Dudes are always thinking about women and the many things they want to do to them once they get in bed or at least on a somewhat-flat surface. It’s not like guys are uninterested and have to be cajoled into talking with or boning the fairer sex. They are always down, so why compete? There are plenty of dudes to go around for everyone, and again, if a guy really likes you, he’s going to let you know. Competition=unnecessary.