If you’re a single woman in 2018 trying to navigate the cesspool that is the dating scene, you’re probably as nauseated as I am trying to find a decent guy. Women put up with a ton of crap while trying to form honest and meaningful relationships, and while we’re probably guilty of shortcomings of our own, the crappy behaviors we’re often on the receiving end of from guys are completely within our control. Ladies, it’s time we stick together and stop settling for this BS. If we want men to behave better, we need to raise our standards — here’s how:
- Stop accepting “hanging out” as a passable date. “Hanging out” and “Netflix and chill” need to be laid to rest once and for all. Hanging out isn’t thoughtful, nor is it a real date. If he wants to cook you dinner at his place, that’s fine, but if he makes lazy ass attempts to get in your pants while you’re there, dismiss yourself ASAP. Zero effort should mean zero benefits.
- See guys who ghost you for what they really are — losers. If a guy ghosts you, don’t even kick up a fuss. Believe me when I say there’s not usually much point in calling him out because he’s a moron to begin with and this cutting edge information won’t sink through his thick skull. Give his silent treatment a three day shelf life and then pour him down the drain like expired milk. You’re better than him.
- If he says something rude, call him out on his crap. If you’re dating a guy and he says something rude, don’t dismiss it in an attempt to come off “cool and collected.” Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself because you deserve better than to be treated like crap.
- Don’t settle for just a hookup. You have zero obligation to sleep with a guy you’re dating when you’re not completely ready. Guys that think they can just walk in half-assed and get the best parts of you without doing much and go as far as attempting to guilt you when you don’t give it to them on their timeline aren’t worth your time. If that’s his attitude, let him walk. If sex wasn’t so easily available, guys wouldn’t be expecting it all the time, so let’s change this by making them work harder to get to know us first.
- Set the bar higher from the beginning. You deserve to have someone amazing in your life that reminds you that you’re totally amazing too, so don’t settle for some little jerk who doesn’t see how lucky he is to have you around. If he’s not communicating with you reasonably or doesn’t make you feel special and cared about, show him the door — you can do better.
- Cleanse your black book of players. Those losers in your phonebook who ghosted you, only called you late at night and broke your heart should be blocked, deleted and sent to the trash folder. You don’t need a scroll by reminder of the douchebags who didn’t treat you right. They aren’t worth the memory.
- Don’t settle for Mr. Right Now just because he’s there. Don’t date a guy just because he’s there and shows interest if you’re not super into him yourself- that’s how guys go on to become jaded themselves. Date guys who truly pique your interest and work to earn your affections. You’re a grown ass woman and you don’t need to have your time wasted.
- Stick to your morals, no matter what he says. You don’t need to change who you are just to fit into a guy’s world. Be yourself and stay the course — the right guy will love you just the way you are. If he doesn’t love you for your natural and amazing self, he’s not the right guy, period.
- Don’t drop your life for him. If a guy calls last minute to see you or tries to make plans with you on a night you’re already busy, suggest another time, plain and simple. You don’t and shouldn’t be dropping your responsibilities and friends just to make time for a guy who isn’t thoughtfully working you into his life in advance. Let him work harder. If he doesn’t, then he’s proved his real level of interest.
- Kiss the frogs… goodbye. If you’re not getting what you want and deserve, don’t be afraid to say goodbye. Dating is the stage where you set the tone of what you’ll put up with in the entire relationship. If you set the bar low, you’ll get low in return. Raise the standards and let’s start raising the quality of these lazy ass guys and teach them to do better.
